One of the consequences of the improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern era, many new diseases are always appearing;
therefore
, there are health
graduates aiming to cure any disease. Also
, health
technology is getting more sophisticated, and this
causes people
’s expectations to live longer. Despite the disadvantages, the advantages of this
issue are more significant.
Perhaps one major drawback of this
issue would be a problem where the population around the world will increase and cause overpopulation. Overpopulation will disturb economic growth and potentially slow where there will be more demand. In addition
, overpopulation will emphasize the demand for health
care in hospitals and create an imbalance where patients will be more than doctors. This
can cause a lack of effectiveness in treating people
. To illustrate, doctors will be fatigued when treating patients in hospitals.
Looking at the benefits, though, it might be said that advanced technology in health
will make older people
live longer. People
who have a long life
can spend more time with their family and create harmony in the family. For example
, a healthy old grandfather can still see his grandchildren in his life
. Furthermore
, the development of health
can increase the quality of life
for people
who still have dreams. People
can learn new things for their whole lives and reach their dreams. With not only dreams but also
a longer life
, people
can contribute more to society.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of this
issue are more significant. This
includes increasing the harmony of the family and giving people
who have not achieved what they want in life
to have more time to achieve it.Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, but you could further enhance your examples and arguments by adding more specific data or anecdotes to make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, try to make transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve the overall flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both the advantages and disadvantages of improved medical care, addressing the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and serve as effective bookends to your essay, summarizing the main arguments.
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