Write about the following topic: Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out.  In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

English
is one of the most spoken
languages
​​in the world.
Also
, it has a very important place in education, even local
languages
​​have fallen behind it. It should be supported to recover its importance.
In addition
, everyone should know
English
.
This
essay will discuss both views. Learning
English
is very important for everybody because it is called ‘The World
Language
’. It is impossible for people who do not know
this
language
to access any information and it is not possible for them to improve themselves. When you learn
this
language
, you can access any information in the world via the internet or meet someone who can give you
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
that you are looking for.
For example
, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
was
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
, I was trying to find a disease related to exotic animals. I looked for a book on that subject in the library and could only find it in
English
. Since I knew
English
, I could easily read it and learn what the disease was. Local
languages
should survive and we have to do something
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
situation. If people forget their local
languages
, they can not transmit local knowledge to the next generation. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a local
language
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
many data about the local area or the city.
For instance
, I know a person who is from the east side of the country. He knows a special
language
which is
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
to Kurdish. Four years ago, he read a
document
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
no one else
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
. Since the
document
was written
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
language
. He realized how important that
document
was to his culture. The
document
was about
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
yoghurt recipe and a famous chef in Turkey stated that the secret side that has not been discovered for years has been found out. In conclusion, the
English
language
is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
very important for everyone.
In addition
, learning the
English
language
should be supported.
On the other hand
, local
languages
​​should not be allowed to disappear.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, making it easier for the reader to follow your points. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that both the introduction and conclusion are clear and fully developed. Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more succinctly and powerfully.
task achievement
Ensure that each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling. For instance, elaborating more on the importance of local languages with additional real-life examples can be beneficial.
general
Try to avoid small grammatical mistakes, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'When i was university...' Also, ensure consistent use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions to enhance the clarity and fluency of your sentences.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples that effectively support your arguments, such as the book you found in English and the special yoghurt recipe revealing cultural importance.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of learning English and the need to ensure the survival of local languages, showcasing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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