IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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English
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 is one of the most spoken
languages
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 ​​in the world.
Also
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, it has a very important place in education, even local
languages
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 ​​have fallen behind it. It should be supported to recover its importance.
In addition
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, everyone should know
English
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views. Learning
English
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 is very important for everybody because it is called ‘The World
Language
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’. It is impossible for people who do not know
this
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language
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 to access any information and it is not possible for them to improve themselves. When you learn
this
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language
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, you can access any information in the world via the internet or meet someone who can give you
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 that you are looking for.
For example
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, when
i
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I
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 was
university
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at university
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, I was trying to find a disease related to exotic animals. I looked for a book on that subject in the library and could only find it in
English
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. Since I knew
English
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, I could easily read it and learn what the disease was. Local
languages
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 should survive and we have to do something
for
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about
show examples
this
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 situation. If people forget their local
languages
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, they can not transmit local knowledge to the next generation. Because
,
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apply
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 a local
language
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give
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gives
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 many data about the local area or the city.
For instance
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, I know a person who is from the east side of the country. He knows a special
language
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 which is
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 to Kurdish. Four years ago, he read a
document
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which
Correct word choice
that
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 no one else
can
Wrong verb form
could
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. Since the
document
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 was written
by
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in
show examples
this
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language
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. He realized how important that
document
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 was to his culture. The
document
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 was about
special
Correct article usage
a special
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 yoghurt recipe and a famous chef in Turkey stated that the secret side that has not been discovered for years has been found out. In conclusion, the
English
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language
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 is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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very important for everyone.
In addition
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, learning the
English
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language
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 should be supported.
On the other hand
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, local
languages
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 ​​should not be allowed to disappear.

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, making it easier for the reader to follow your points. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that both the introduction and conclusion are clear and fully developed. Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more succinctly and powerfully.
task achievement
Ensure that each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling. For instance, elaborating more on the importance of local languages with additional real-life examples can be beneficial.
general
Try to avoid small grammatical mistakes, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'When i was university...' Also, ensure consistent use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions to enhance the clarity and fluency of your sentences.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples that effectively support your arguments, such as the book you found in English and the special yoghurt recipe revealing cultural importance.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of learning English and the need to ensure the survival of local languages, showcasing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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