Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

There is no denying the fact that bullying is a significant problem in many schools and societies.
This
essay will discuss what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you believe are the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
and what solutions can you suggest. To being with, there are many reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why bullying occurs in schools.
Firstly
, inadequate understanding of diversity and individual differences among students.
In other words
, power dynamics and the need for some children to dominate others.
In addition
, family background issues where children mimic aggressive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
For example
, a child who witnesses violence at home may exhibit similar aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
at school, believing it to be a normal way to interact with peers.In terms of the solutions, creating awareness and education programs for students. It is possible to say that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, and parents,
strict
Add a missing verb
have strict
show examples
anti-
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
policies and clear
conseqenes
Correct your spelling
consequences
for bullying
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Moreover
,
sould
Correct your spelling
should
be encouraging a school culture of respect and kindness,
conflict
Correct word choice
and conflict
show examples
resolution training.
For instance
,
iempelementing
Correct your spelling
implementing
a '
buddysystem
Correct your spelling
buddy system
buddy-system
,' where older or more confident students help to look out and support those who are vulnerable
bullying
Change preposition
to bullying
show examples
. In conclusion, there are many causes of
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
. It is
also
true that many solutions for
limits
Wrong verb form
limiting
show examples
bullying at schools.
Submitted by 01_salver_cheek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be improved to directly address the causes and solutions of bullying more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each idea flows seamlessly into the next. For instance, use transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas to make the argument structure more evident.
task achievement
More specific examples would strengthen your argument, such as particular cases of bullying or successfully implemented programs in schools. This will make your points more compelling and grounded in reality.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the solutions section by providing more detailed actions or steps that should be taken. This will show a comprehensive understanding of how to combat bullying.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure that sentences are complete and clearly structured. This will improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both the causes of bullying and potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the essay task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument and provides a proper structure.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and contribute well to the discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Including examples like the 'buddy system' adds a practical dimension to your suggested solutions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!