IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
Nowadays, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
cars
increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human population. In fact,
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
alive
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 especially already over-reliance on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
cars
. The gist cause is
giving
Verb problem
having
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment.
Then
, increasing the payment of
tax
 for private
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 is one of the possible
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
. First of all, almost
people
Correct determiner usage
all people
show examples
 that
alive
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
 in the city already
use
 private
cars
. There are
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 private
cars
 like it makes
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 comfortable,
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
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 more time and
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution
.
For example
,
people
use
 private
cars
 when they go to work, school,
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 and other activities.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
, the destination is near they still
use
 private
cars
. Unfortunately, that can be
Correct article usage
a problems
show examples
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for the environment.
For instance
, the fuel
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced by private
cars
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
be increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
pollution
such
 as air
pollution
 and increasing of carbon-monoxide.
The
Correct article usage
Pollution
show examples
pollution
 is very dangerous
due to
this
 is the fact that will create some
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
.
Besides
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 possible solution
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 increasing the payment of
tax
 private
cars
. The government should be making
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 and
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 about that.
For example
, every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a private car
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tax
 every 3 months. So, it makes the
people
 can search
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
 options like using public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
.
Then
, the number of private
cars
 can decrease slightly every year.
Moreover
, the quality of
Correct article usage
the environtment
show examples
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is better than before. In summary, there is one big
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem
show examples
 when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 over-reliance
use
 private
cars
 as
giving
Verb problem
having
show examples
 bad impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the environtment
show examples
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
such
 as increasing
pollution
.
Then
, the solution is
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 for payment
tax
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and enhance readability. This will help convey your ideas more clearly.
content
Elaborate more on your main points with additional evidence and examples to strengthen your argument.
topic
The essay addresses the given topic and identifies a key problem (environmental impact) and a potential solution (increasing car taxes).
structure
The introductory paragraph and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay, helping to structure your overall argument.
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