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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about following topic: Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skills
Many people argue that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any education
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
, from primary
school
 to
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
,
school
 seems to
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
 a
lot
 of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for
students
 to learn
theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
/
facts
 and not enough time
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 practical
skills
. I personally agree with
this
 statement because I believe that practice plays
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a big role in
overall
 understanding.
However
, I
also
 believe that
theories
 are important to understand the foundation of topics. When
students
 spend too much
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 learning
theories
 &
facts
, the actual objective behind the learning
is tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be forgotten. Learning
facts
 usually
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them
repeating
Wrong verb form
repeat
show examples
 things and not
applying
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
 what they learn in project matters. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 is when it comes to Marketing, the most efficient way to study is to apply & see.
For instance
, a good advertisement that generates a
lot
 of sales usually comes from a
lot
 of trials and errors, combined with properly understanding the audience.
Students
 will not be able to understand
this
 from
theories
 and
book
Correct subject-verb agreement
books
show examples
 only.
Secondly
, in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, practical
skills
 are more useful as there are a
lot
 of projects. One of the most used
skills
 in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is presentation, whether it is in front of colleagues or clients. When
students
 spend a
lot
 of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 how to present
theoritically
Correct your spelling
theoretically
, they usually feel nervous and think a
lot
 when presenting. We can always see the difference with someone who continuously
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 in real-life settings.
To conclude
, I believe that practical
skills
 should be taught more in
school
 to ensure that
students
 have important
skills
 that they need in work & life.
However
,
this
 does not mean that
theories
 or
facts
 are not important. They are both important and the
school
curiculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 has to align better with both.
Submitted by oktavianisaa123 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more cohesive devices that link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Additionally, ensure a clear logical structure where ideas and arguments flow naturally from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points by supporting them with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your essay more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas regarding the importance of practical skills over theoretical knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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