Some people say the feeling of competition should be encouraged in children while others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?
When the
children
still study
at the
Correct article usage
apply
school
, they face the dilemma of whether to do a competition
to develop their knowledge
or should to
teach more to become Fix the infinitive
apply
convetitive
. I would Correct your spelling
competitive
arguee
Correct your spelling
argue
that is
better to more teach by they
teacher.
The option Correct your spelling
the
to
Change preposition
for
children
for
Change preposition
to
get
the competitions since they Change the verb form
getting
study
still young at Verb problem
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
is attracctive
for several reasons. Many Correct your spelling
attractive
children
want to start study
at Wrong verb form
studying
scholl
as soon as possible. in Correct your spelling
school
this
way
they can become more independent, and they will Add a comma
way,
bi
able to Correct your spelling
be
more
Add a missing verb
be more
smart
still Correct word choice
smarter
yaoung
sampai old later. Correct your spelling
young
children
who decide to find competition
, rather than tought
with Correct your spelling
taught
they
teacher, Correct your spelling
the
hape
the Correct your spelling
have
knowledge
abaout
may progress will more quickly. they will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related Correct your spelling
about
their
chosen profession. Change preposition
to their
This
way lead
to promotions and Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
Correct article usage
a sucsessfull
sucsessfull
career.
Correct your spelling
successful
On the other hand
, I believe that is
more benefical
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
children
to study
at elementaryschool
when they get more Correct your spelling
elementary school
elementary-school
comvetitive
after they teach by the teacher. Correct your spelling
competitive
Firstly
become
cooperative can be Wrong verb form
becoming
more smart
Replace the words
smarter
then
Correct your spelling
than
get
the Wrong verb form
getting
compettitions
, because they always Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
study
hart
and go to Correct your spelling
hard
school
on time. Secondly
if the Add a comma
Secondly,
children
have a
many thinking Remove the article
apply
abaout
how to get a cooperative they will have any way to become Correct your spelling
about
the
one of the best people in the class, and always follow Change the article
apply
rouls
Correct your spelling
rules
roles
rolls
from
the Change preposition
of
school
. Children
with the have competition
will get the knowledge
and experience include can do competition
also
.
In Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
, both get the Correct your spelling
conclusion
competition
and Wrong verb form
having
have
Wrong verb form
having
knowledge
Change preposition
of anything
anything
to become Change preposition
of anything
cooprative
is Correct your spelling
cooperative
Correct article usage
the same
same
but I think is more Correct article usage
the same
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefical
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
children
to get a
Remove the article
apply
competition
, because Is more good
I think.Replace the words
better
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Simple errors detract from your message and make it harder to follow your argument.
content development
Ensure that your arguments are well-supported with specific examples. This will make your essay more persuasive and relevant to the topic.
cohesion and coherence
Improve coherence by using more transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, discussing both perspectives on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.