Advertisng are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?
With the cutting edge 4.0 , when one
product
is released and gave rise to a growing number of advertisements on social media .Some people belive that advertising are becoming more and more easy to approach with everyday life of customers . In my opinion , I partly agree with the statements and both negative and positive aspect of it will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
There are several reasons for negative is that advertising usually approach users buy unnecessary products and inessential service , as a result
customers will spend a large sum of money and will lead to financial difficulty. For example
in particular
: Teenagers often have the habit of buying things when the product
has their favorite idol and ambassador, regardless of whether the product
is unnecessary and can waste a huge amount of money. Especially, advertising usually introduce unhealthy products such
as : fast food , soft drinks and it will affect health problems : obesity , heart - related diseases
However
, the increasing use of advertising can bring positive for buyers and companies. Advertising Industry will create opportunities for newly graduates in fields like marketing, design, content creating. In addition
, Advertising helps consumers know about the existence of new products and new services, thereby making consumers curious and want to try it out. For example
, when there is an advertisement for a medicinal product
, they will know how to use the medicine and its uses to see if they are really suitable.
In conclusion, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society and in my opinion it will have advantages and disadvantages.Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, your essay would benefit from more structured paragraphs where the main points are clearly outlined and developed. Try using topic sentences for each paragraph to keep your arguments clear and organized.
task achievement
While you have addressed both positive and negative aspects of advertising, your arguments need to be more developed. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your main points to make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Watch out for small grammatical errors and try to use a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more varied and interesting. For example, rather than repeating the word 'advertising' multiple times, consider using synonyms or related phrases.
task achievement
Your essay included relevant and specific examples to support your points, which greatly strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well. This helps in giving the essay a balanced structure.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite