More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been an unprecedented surge in overweight populations, sparking extensive discussions regarding the implications of fattening
foods
. One prevailing viewpoint suggests that elevating the Use synonyms
prices
of fattening Use synonyms
foods
is a reasonable solution to tackle Use synonyms
this
problem. From my perspective, I completely disagree with Linking Words
this
statement, and several potential strategies should be applied to address Linking Words
this
concern.
One compelling argument against increasing relevant Linking Words
foods
' Use synonyms
prices
is that it may not bring desirable and predictable consequences. The reason for increasing Use synonyms
foods
' Use synonyms
prices
is to reduce individual intake of high-calorie elements Use synonyms
such
as sugars and oil, thereby preventing superfluous energies into their bodies and leading to adverse obesity. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, Linking Words
although
faced with increased Linking Words
prices
, some folks still persist in purchasing Use synonyms
this
category of Linking Words
foods
that provide them with a sense of fulfilment. Use synonyms
For example
, those with substantial personal wealth generally neglect the elevated Linking Words
prices
of fattening snacks, Use synonyms
thus
continuously enhancing the sales of fattening Linking Words
foods
.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, another cause involving opposing Linking Words
this
manner is that raising the price violates fairness and justice, and numerous wise ways can deal with it. Linking Words
First,
any entities including the government have no right to randomly change food Linking Words
prices
Use synonyms
according to
their preferences or other reasons. Increasing the Linking Words
prices
of fattening Use synonyms
foods
means that several households especially poor families may be not affordable and suffer from hunger and starvation. Use synonyms
Second,
there are various effective solutions available that can be adopted. Linking Words
For instance
, comprehensive awareness campaigns in communities and educational programs advertising detrimental aspects of fattening Linking Words
foods
in schools contribute to establishing a robust framework to decrease people's intake of high-calorie Use synonyms
foods
.
In conclusion, considering the effectiveness and equity problems of elevating the Use synonyms
prices
, I once again reaffirm my stance that residents should not be encouraged to embrace enhanced fattening food Use synonyms
prices
. Holistic awareness campaigns and corresponding educational programs will be more rational ways to Use synonyms
this
issue.Linking Words
Submitted by nikolopup on
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task achievement
While your essay does effectively address the topic, providing relevant points against increasing the prices of fattening foods, it could be even stronger with a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your full stance. This would help in guiding the reader right from the introduction.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrase constructions in places. For instance, the phrase 'therefore preventing superfluous energies into their bodies' could be rephrased for clarity. Proofreading to ensure all sentences are clear and grammatically correct will improve your score.
task achievement
Further expand on your supporting arguments with more data or specific studies which could add depth to your essay and strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This aids in the clarity of your points and makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You successfully present multiple perspectives on the issue, providing a well-rounded argument against raising prices of fattening foods.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the mention of poor families and the impact of increased prices on them, effectively demonstrates the negative consequences of the proposed solution.