You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
In recent years, there has been an unprecedented surge in overweight populations, sparking extensive discussions regarding the implications of fattening
foods
. One prevailing viewpoint suggests that elevating the prices
of fattening foods
is a reasonable solution to tackle this
problem. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this
statement, and several potential strategies should be applied to address this
concern.
One compelling argument against increasing relevant foods
' prices
is that it may not bring desirable and predictable consequences. The reason for increasing foods
' prices
is to reduce individual intake of high-calorie elements such
as sugars and oil, thereby preventing superfluous energies into their bodies and leading to adverse obesity. Nevertheless
, although
faced with increased prices
, some folks still persist in purchasing this
category of foods
that provide them with a sense of fulfilment. For example
, those with substantial personal wealth generally neglect the elevated prices
of fattening snacks, thus
continuously enhancing the sales of fattening foods
.
Furthermore
, another cause involving opposing this
manner is that raising the price violates fairness and justice, and numerous wise ways can deal with it. First,
any entities including the government have no right to randomly change food prices
according to
their preferences or other reasons. Increasing the prices
of fattening foods
means that several households especially poor families may be not affordable and suffer from hunger and starvation. Second,
there are various effective solutions available that can be adopted. For instance
, comprehensive awareness campaigns in communities and educational programs advertising detrimental aspects of fattening foods
in schools contribute to establishing a robust framework to decrease people's intake of high-calorie foods
.
In conclusion, considering the effectiveness and equity problems of elevating the prices
, I once again reaffirm my stance that residents should not be encouraged to embrace enhanced fattening food prices
. Holistic awareness campaigns and corresponding educational programs will be more rational ways to this
issue.Submitted by nikolopup on
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task achievement
While your essay does effectively address the topic, providing relevant points against increasing the prices of fattening foods, it could be even stronger with a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your full stance. This would help in guiding the reader right from the introduction.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrase constructions in places. For instance, the phrase 'therefore preventing superfluous energies into their bodies' could be rephrased for clarity. Proofreading to ensure all sentences are clear and grammatically correct will improve your score.
task achievement
Further expand on your supporting arguments with more data or specific studies which could add depth to your essay and strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This aids in the clarity of your points and makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You successfully present multiple perspectives on the issue, providing a well-rounded argument against raising prices of fattening foods.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the mention of poor families and the impact of increased prices on them, effectively demonstrates the negative consequences of the proposed solution.