It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #places #squares #parks

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about whether most

cities

Use synonyms

should have large natural places

such

Linking Words

squares

Use synonyms

and

parks

Use synonyms

or not, with many

people

Use synonyms

believing that there are some benefits to introducing

parks

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will argue and explain how having big

parks

Use synonyms

exerts a positive effect on citizens' lives.

To begin

Linking Words

with, I firmly believe that big public outdoor spaces do good for

people

Use synonyms

's mental and physical health.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if towns do not have large natural spaces, many citizens travel to another area or even visit overseas to go to natural

parks

Use synonyms

because countless

cities

Use synonyms

become urbanisation.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a lot of folks need outdoor places where they get some rest in intricate

cities

Use synonyms

, which makes them better when they have difficult problems and are exhausted in their workspaces.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the National Statistics Office, more than 50% of individuals visit public outdoor

squares

Use synonyms

when they want to find happiness and excitement. On top of that, nowadays, numerous children spend too much time on smartphones and video games, which suffers from exercise shortage.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if many towns introduce large exterior spaces, young

people

Use synonyms

can be interested in outdoor activities, which makes them participate in working out naturally.

As a result

Linking Words

, governments can address the problem.

For instance

Linking Words

, more than 35% of teenagers living near

parks

Use synonyms

involve

Verb problem

take

show examples

part in several outdoor activities. In my opinion, having public natural

squares

Use synonyms

has various benefits for individuals' health. For these reasons,

cities

Use synonyms

should build a lot of outdoor places. In conclusion, there are a variety of merits for citizens. Especially

people

Use synonyms

's mental and physical health become better by numerous

squares

Use synonyms

Submitted by garim4645 on Tue Jul 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Some sentences can be adjusted to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Although you have provided relevant examples, varying the examples and offering some statistical or real-world evidence would make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

Try to keep the conclusion more concise. It should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a single clear idea. Sometimes your paragraphs have multiple points, which can dilute the persuasive power of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Clear and concise argument is presented in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Each main point is logically structured and has sufficient elaboration.

task achievement

The essay thoroughly addresses why having public outdoor spaces positively impacts citizens' mental and physical health.

task achievement

Use of statistics adds credibility to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.
The given plans illustrate information about the transformation of a harbour from the year 2000 until now.
7
band
Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?
In the era of globalization, the best occupation opportunities can be obtained in the town and centres. Therefore, a diverse range of individuals are moving there and leaving the countryside. In other words, Only old people will stay there to take care of these areas. In this essay, I will elaborate on the impact of this issue, and what we can do to solve this method.
5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, individuals are living longer than ever before. Some experts claim that an ageing population creates issues for governments, while others believe that society which has more elders are more beneficial. Despite its advantages, I believe that having more elderly communities produces more negative sides and this following paragraphs will shed light on both advantages and disadvantages.
7
band
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this contemporary epoch, there has been a debate between people who believe that childhood days are the most beautiful while critics say that adult age helps to enjoy more along with responsibilities. In my opinion, adult people are happier due to relentless freedom in their lives. This essay will delve into both views and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
7.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children. how to be member of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Many people argue that a way to be a member of society should be taught to children by their parents whereas others believe that school should be the place to teach this. Overall, this essay agrees with both perspectives. This is because parents are the closest resource for kids to ask for and school is the most reliable institution to educate the way to be a member.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Some people think that parents should teach children. how to be member of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this Discuss both view and give your opinion.