Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?

In the modern era, when the adverts become popular in daily life. It's
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good evolution
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
Firstly
, advertising will update new items for citizens every time
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
more convenient for individuals when they want to
looking
Change the verb
look
show examples
for any new products or shopping.
In addition
, commerce
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
dwellers to compare with other products to advance the best choice for their demand.
For example
, boards in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
alway
Correct your spelling
always
supply new toys, soaps, foods, drinks,
accessories
Correct word choice
and accessories
show examples
for
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
or television and media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
always post about new electric appliances,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
latest household
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
, all of
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help people to choose what is essential for the need at the moment.
Secondly
,
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
can introduce the latest experience for residents
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
people can
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about new travel at mystery
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
,
try
Correct word choice
and try
show examples
recently launched services.
Furthermore
, advertising
supplys
Correct your spelling
supplies
supply
the price
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
way, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
citizens
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
precise awareness about the level of expensive or cheap that services can be and will
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
suitable
Add a missing verb
are suitable
show examples
for
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
, people can try
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new features on
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
show examples
15 Pro Max, new optimistic game turbo on Red Magic 9 Pro or citizens can consider
to experienced
Change preposition
experiencing
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hazardous games in
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
park
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
bring
Verb problem
show
show examples
individuals what they need to do to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
mental of life and how much they can
paid
Change the verb form
pay
be paid
show examples
for
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
. In conclusion,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of
advertise
Change the verb form
advertising
show examples
in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
era
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
about
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
evolve
Replace the word
of evolution
show examples
of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, if advertising in
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
level it can make the best profit and the contrast
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task response
Try to make your introduction more precise and focused. The sentence 'It's the good evolution at all and bring many benefits for population' can be rephrased for clarity and correctness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically developed. At times, the essay becomes difficult to follow due to sudden jumps between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with sentence structures and grammar. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
task response
Review vocabulary usage. Some word choices are incorrect or awkward (for example, 'dweller' instead of 'consumer' or 'residents').
task response
You provided specific examples for your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a complete structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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