IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science is to improve our life. To what extent do you agree?

#aim #science #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A prevailing notion suggests that the central mission of
science
 should propel human progress. I staunchly endorse
this
 perspective
due to
 two critical reasons: the urgent imperative of environmental sustainability for our future and the pivotal role of
science
 in elevating human quality of life. First and foremost, harnessing
science
 to improve lives is central to achieving long-term environmental sustainability.
Moreover
,
this
 focus on well-being necessitates responsible resource management. Issues like resource depletion, pollution, and climate change directly impact our future and demand a deeper understanding of our planet's ecosystems and how human actions affect them. Armed with
this
 knowledge, scientific research and its application play the most crucial role in addressing these challenges and developing sustainable solutions. To illustrate
this
 point, understanding the negative impacts of traditional electricity generation methods,
such
 as hydropower and thermoelectric power, has driven innovation in
science
 resulting in renewable energy sources like wind and solar power. In summation, these technological advancements not only strengthen electricity production but
also
 promote environmental health in the long run.
In addition
 to
this
, the foremost aim of
science
 should be to emphasize the betterment of human life. Over the years, scientific activities have yielded a vast number of inventions. These include breakthroughs in medical
science
,
such
 as the development of vaccines, antibiotics, and advanced surgical techniques, which have substantially contributed to extending
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 lifespan and diminishing the burden of disease worldwide.
Similarly
, technological advancements have brought significant enhancements to the simplicity and comfort we experience in our everyday activities. through online messaging applications and modern transportation. Ultimately, there is no doubt that scientific advancements and responsible resource management will remain at the forefront of ensuring a sustainable and prosperous future. By prioritizing these areas, we can pave the way for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better human lives.
Submitted by nguyenthihongduc109 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to make the conclusion more comprehensive by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Your task response is quite strong, but incorporating more diverse examples would further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced and well-argued perspective, addressing both environmental sustainability and human quality of life effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is quite sound, making the essay easy to follow. Transitions between ideas are smooth.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: