Some people say that the only way to get success is going to the university, while some people say it depends on others. What is your opinion?
Due to
lack
of money and awareness, in the past education wasn't considered relevant. As time passed by, people studied more and more, and right after graduating from a university Correct article usage
a lack
was
considered Correct subject-verb agreement
were
as
Change preposition
apply
a
successful Correct article usage
apply
person
. Some people argue university education doesn't actually make them successful. In Fix the agreement mistake
people
this
essay, I will discussSubmitted by shahpmanan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction more fully. You've started well with a background, but it's essential to clearly state your thesis and outline what you will cover in the essay.
task achievement
Include specific examples or evidence to support your points. This helps to strengthen your arguments and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to present a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position. This helps to give your essay a rounded finish.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a historical context, which helps set the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay topic is clearly introduced, and both perspectives on the issue are acknowledged.
task achievement
Your writing shows a good understanding of the topic, even if the ideas need further development.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite