Some people say that the only way to get success is going to the university, while some people say it depends on others. What is your opinion?

Due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of money and awareness, in the past education wasn't considered relevant. As time passed by, people studied more and more, and right after graduating from a university
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Some people argue university education doesn't actually make them successful. In
this
essay, I will discuss
Submitted by shahpmanan on

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coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction more fully. You've started well with a background, but it's essential to clearly state your thesis and outline what you will cover in the essay.
task achievement
Include specific examples or evidence to support your points. This helps to strengthen your arguments and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to present a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position. This helps to give your essay a rounded finish.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a historical context, which helps set the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay topic is clearly introduced, and both perspectives on the issue are acknowledged.
task achievement
Your writing shows a good understanding of the topic, even if the ideas need further development.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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