In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Children
in some cultural values are often times told to try persistently so that they are able to achieve anything.
This
brings benefits
such
as
children
's high motivation to pursue their dreams but
also
drawbacks
such
as the high expectations that are given to
children
by their parents. Cultural norms that respect hard work can push
children
to achieve many things. Passed down by generations,
individuals
in some cultures are used to being told to do anything hard enough to achieve their goals. So when they become parents, they will tell their
kids
the same thing which could result in
kids
that are highly ambitious.
For instance
, in many countries around the world, Chinese immigrants or descendants are considered very hardworking
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are shaped by their culture.
However
, a culture that emphasises
children
's hard work ethics could
also
force many
children
to achieve unrealistic things. The high expectations of parents that are often associated with
this
cultural practice can lead to unhappy and pressured
kids
. If
this
happens,
instead
of growing up as a highly enthusiastic person,
kids
can end up lacking in ambition or even depressed. The prime example of
this
is the high number of suicide accidents in Japan which happen because a lot of them fail to do well in their work or school. In conclusion, cultures that favour
children
to try relentlessly have advantages and disadvantages. Even though
this
can prompt
kids
to be ambitious
individuals
,
this
also
can lead to unhappy and troubled
individuals
due to
the high expectations that are given to
kids
from
such
a young age.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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task achievement
Consider adding a few more specific examples to enrich your arguments further. This would add depth and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between sentences and paragraphs to achieve even smoother cohesion. This would enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is crucial for structuring your essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the reference to Chinese immigrants and the situation in Japan, which support the main points discussed.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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