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Band 6

Some people think that governments of developing countries should introduce new technology to people to improve their quality of life, while others believe that they should provide free education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #countries #technology #quality #life #education
These days, developing
countries
 need some facilities for their
people
, but for these things,
people
 have some different ideas. One group believes new technology can make our lives better, yet other
people
 prefer to have free
education
. My opinion is the same as the second view because the weakest in developing
countries
 are inhabitants who have educational degrees, and when governments improve
education
, the educational persona might increase. On the one hand, the new technology has some merits and drawbacks in
people
's lifestyles.
Firstly
, new equipment raises the level of some developing
countries
' citizens
due to
 the fact most
people
 who are poor in these districts cannot buy these things.
For example
, Iran is a developing country;
thereafter
, the dishwasher is a good device for women which the government have advertised on TV and other platforms, yet most
people
 cannot buy them.
Secondly
, when the authority accepts new devices and introduces them to its societies;
then
people
 can use them, and buy them when they like them.
On the other hand
, the free
education
 has a lot of benefits. when
people
 of one population can study for free;
as a result
, most
people
 follow their
education
,
then
 not only does the number of crimes decline but
also
 the knowledge of
people
 about their surroundings improves.
Also
, these
people
 can help authorities to alter their situation to the best position;
furthermore
, they do not let other
countries
 for thief their resources because they know how can they use costly sources that have more profits. In conclusion, new technology has a nice shape;
nevertheless
, the free study opens the situation for the country to improve extremely fast.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, but the ideas in the body paragraphs could be better organized for clarity. Try to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develop it fully with clear examples.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Examples help to clarify your points and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents a position.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay includes an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to create a logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructural development
  • modernization
  • job opportunities
  • living standards
  • necessary skills and knowledge
  • socio-economic status
  • pressing issues
  • healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • informed and conscious society
  • immediate tangible benefits
  • public services
  • administrative efficiency
  • skilled workforce
  • sustainable economic growth
  • exacerbate inequality
  • critical thinking
  • innovation
  • home-grown solutions
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