Nowadays many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games? What can be done about this problem?
In the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of
children
playing computer
games
. A negative impact of this
worrying trend is its effect on the physical and mental health of young children
. However
, there are solutions readily available to tackle this
issue, such
as reducing the time a child is allowed to spend playing video
games
.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that computer
games
can be detrimental to a child’s development. To illustrate this
point, a study conducted in Hong Kong found that playing too many computer
games
can lead to increased anxiety and depression in players. For
this
reason, it is clearly evident that the use of video
games
can have debilitating effects on its users, as it alters their mental well-being. Moreover
, according to
ample statistical data, the overuse of electronic games
leads to a significant increase in heart rates and blood pressure in young players, as a result
of too much excitement and stress. This
being the case, it is not unreasonable to assume that if there is no intervention governing the use of computer
games
, children
will develop significant health problems.
In order to resolve this
troubling issue, one viable solution would be for the government to educate parents
on the appropriate allowance of time spent playing video
games
for their children
. For instance
, schools in Denmark created information leaflets for parents
outlining the consequences of video
gaming and that children
should not play them for longer than one hour a day. Therefore
, it is hardly surprising why
Denmark has one of the lowest rates of anxiety Correct word choice
that
amongst
Change preposition
among
children
, as they are forced to stop playing on electronic devices after a short period of time. Furthermore
, encouraging more outdoor activities can also
aid in battling online gaming addiction, as it introduces children
to different types of adventures. With this
in mind, there is no doubt that if parents
actively worked to limit their children
’s video
gaming hours, there would be less chance of developing addiction.
To conclude
from the aforementioned discussion, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that the overuse of computer
games
can negatively impact a child’s health. However
, it is still possible to turn the tide by encouraging parents
to limit online playtime and introduce children
to more outdoor-related
activities and Correct your spelling
outdoor
games
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general
While the essay is clear and well-organized, ensure that each main point is fully supported with detailed evidence or explanation. For instance, elaborating on how outdoor activities can reduce gaming addiction could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To further improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your task response is strong, but it can be slightly improved by addressing potential counterarguments or balancing your discussion with alternative viewpoints.
task achievement
You accurately addressed the prompt, examining the negative impacts of computer games and proposing viable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized in a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples and statistical data helps to strengthen your arguments and adds credibility to your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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