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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that we should do research into our family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
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What we need to delve into more frequently is a noticeable topic for today’s debate. Some
people
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 think that individuals ought to pay attention and conduct more studies about the past of their families,
while
Linking Words
 others hold the contrary opinion that more concentration has to be put on the forthcoming
generations
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain both perspectives before giving my own. On the one hand, I believe that there are two parallel sides when
people
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 prioritize researching family history. One reason why
this
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 tendency is advantageous is that
,
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apply
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individuals have the ability to learn from the mistakes of previous
generations
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, helping to avoid the same failures. Another benefit is that in some particular cases, by understanding the origins of the families, younger members are able to become inspired
as well as
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 proud of their families.
As a result
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, they have more motivation to exercise successfully and,
furthermore
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, to maintain their family's reputation.
However
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, it is undeniable that finding out about painful and traumatic experiences like conflicts, issues, and crimes is more likely to make
people
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 suffer from depression and anxiety.
On the other hand
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, I sinfully claim that emphasising education and development for the recent and later
generations
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 generally has more positive impacts. To be specific, encountering the contemporary world requires young
generations
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 to have terrific adaptation and flexibility in order to get accustomed to all the technological breakthroughs. Simultaneously, with tremendous transformation in
people
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's lives, there are more global problems,
such
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 as population, energy crises, desentation or even space travel, which need more focus from forthcoming
generations
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.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 focusing on recent and future offspring is definitely necessary for the
further
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 progress of society as a whole. In conclusion,
while
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 having more knowledge about ancestors, or
in other words
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, doing ancestral lineage research truly has pluses, with its drawbacks, it is considered that concentrating on the present-day descendant will eventually be more beneficial.
Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on

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coherence cohesion
You have developed a logical structure for your essay, and the introduction and conclusion are clearly present. However, aim to enhance the overall logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your arguments even more compelling. For instance, using more varied linking words and phrases can improve coherence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively and provides a balanced discussion on both views. Still, adding more specific and detailed examples can further substantiate your arguments and make your points clearer.
task achievement
You have put forward some clear and comprehensive ideas. However, focus on expanding these ideas with more depth and detail. This will help make your essay more compelling and insightful.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well. This helps the readers understand the boundaries of your discussion.
task achievement
You have managed to provide a balanced overview of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the topic and task requirements.
task achievement
You have clear and comprehensive ideas, demonstrating a solid grasp of the topic. This shows your ability to engage with complex issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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