IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#people #country #television #programmes #films
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Generally, the statement , that you can know more about a
country
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 by consuming popular
media
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 and Television programmes is not necessarily true, and the claim that you can learn about another
country
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 by visiting a
country
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 as opposed to learning through watching popular
media
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 is true and there are several reasons and examples for why
this
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 is the case in my opinion.
Firstly
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, watching and consuming TV programmes and films to get an idea about the totality of how a
country
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 operates is based on a wrong assumption.
For instance
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, you can't learn or rely on every cultural aspect
about
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of
show examples
 a
country
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 based on cliches and stereotypes which are greatly exaggerated when it comes to
media
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 platforms, there is some kernel of truth but you don't get the complete picture to learn everything out of it.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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 some truth in the next statement that you can learn something about a
country
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 by visiting it directly,
In contrast
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 to just viewing and learning about cultural elements from online or popular
media
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 which
deosn't
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doesn't
 provide
with
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apply
show examples
the whole package of information,
for example
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; certain Western news channel presents a negative image of underdeveloped countries which are said to be rife with crime and terrorism, which actually shows one part of the greater story that not every region within the presented specific locality has
this
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 unique problem
while
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 other places experience greater security and peace,
this
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 is how sometimes the greater picture which is complicated, gets
further
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 muddled.
Finally
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, it can be summarised that learning about a
country
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 is too complicated to be reduced to learning about from a singular source of
media
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 or even just by visiting or travelling the place. It is wise to incorporate every source of information to form a better idea of the culture in question.
Submitted by toqeer44 on

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task response
Improve clarity and specificity in your arguments. While your points are valid, some ideas could be more elaborately explained and linked more directly to the topic.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points. This can help to substantiate your arguments and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each idea naturally leads to the next, improving readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading your essay can help catch these issues and elevate the overall quality of your writing.
task response
The essay successfully addresses the topic and provides relevant points of comparison between learning from media and actual visits.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear beginning and end.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with examples, which helps in creating a more compelling argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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