It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is believed that
people
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should safeguard their
wealth
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for their future regardless of their
age
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. From my perspective,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation should be taught to save
money
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however
Linking Words
it is
also
Linking Words
important to learn how to
use
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it wisely. In
this
Linking Words
essay, the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
saving and better utilization of
cash
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will be discussed. Primarily, when
people
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think about keeping some
cash
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saved
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
for the purpose of emergency
use
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or for their old
age
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.
For example
Linking Words
, when a person grows old, his productivity decreases and he cannot go to work to earn income. It's
then
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,
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apply
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when
Correct word choice
that
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this
Linking Words
currency works and it acts as an assurance for the challenging
aging
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ageing
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phase of a person.
Therefore
Linking Words
, at
this
Linking Words
time, the
money
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saved during the earning period of life acts as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel to keep the house economy working.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is really important to keep some
cash
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aside in a
saving
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savings
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account to
use
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it in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
age
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, saving
money
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does not mean that
people
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have to hoard
money
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. Sometimes, miser individuals never invest
money
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in their
health
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wisely which they should have done
in
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at
show examples
their
Change the word
a
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young
age
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. To exemplify, it becomes so important to keep collecting
cash
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in a bank account for some that they do not
use
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it to consume a proper diet. They do not consult any expert ever about their
health
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which is an important
wealth
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of their life than
money
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they suffer from many mental
health
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issues which they never
know
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knew
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
exist
Wrong verb form
existed
show examples
. It demonstrates that aiming for a lifestyle with better
health
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is a sign of a rich individual rather than having a large bank balance. In conclusion, saving some
cash
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is a small part of the big picture. An estimate of
wealth
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can never be done by counting
money
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in a bank account but it can be done from the lifestyle and knowledge
wealth
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a person
possess
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possesses
show examples
. Ergo,
people
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definitely need
money
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to
use
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for the challenging phases of their life but they
also
Linking Words
need to focus on using
money
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conscientiously.
Submitted by Kiran on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea, and use linking words more effectively to connect points.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. Avoid overly general statements and ensure your points clearly address the prompt. Emphasize the balance between saving and using money wisely by providing more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammar and syntax errors. Avoid repetitions like using 'saving' several times when synonyms or pronouns can be used. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer clearly addresses the topic and tries to weigh the importance of both saving and spending wisely.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, showing an understanding of real-life implications of the topic, such as saving for old age and the health implications of not spending money wisely.
task achievement
The writer aims to present a balanced view, discussing both the importance of saving and the pitfalls of not spending money on necessary things, which is a commendable approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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