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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The bar graph gives information about
China
Use synonyms
's
ownership
Use synonyms
 of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 from 1987 to 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 grew significantly in a span of 12
years
Use synonyms
. In 1987, the Chinese population owned
vehicles
Use synonyms
 to around 300 per 10 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 figure continued to grow to a high of almost 800 in 1991. Interestingly, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 buying cars did not increase in
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1992-1994, but
China
Use synonyms
has seen
Verb problem
saw
show examples
 an exponential growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its vehicle
ownership
Use synonyms
 in 1995 hitting a high of approximately 2,000
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
 10 thousand
people
Use synonyms
. Over the next 3
years
Use synonyms
, the Chinese
people
Use synonyms
 owned a staggering
number
Use synonyms
 of 3,000 doubling the
number
Use synonyms
 in the previous
years
Use synonyms
. In 1999, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 owned in
China
Use synonyms
 rose exponentially making it the year with the highest quantity of cars owned standing at about 4,100 per ten thousand
people
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of car
Use synonyms
ownership
Replace the word
owners
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1987 to 1994, but in mid
1990s
Correct your spelling
mid-1990s
 its vehicle
ownership
Use synonyms
 continued to rise
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
threefold.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, ownership, vehicles, number, years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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