Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disargree?

These days, some people believe that certain
jobs
are more suitable for
men
while
others are better suited for
women
due to
their differing qualities. Personally,
while
it is true that both males and females have their own strengths and can excel in specific fields, I believe that job suitability should not be based on sex. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people think that certain
jobs
are more appropriate for a specific
gender
. Each
gender
is widely recognized for certain characteristics:
men
are often associated with physical strength,
while
women
are known for their meticulousness and patience.
Consequently
,
jobs
that require physical strength are typically seen as male-dominated,
while
roles that demand patience are considered more suitable for
women
.
For instance
, professions like police officers and firefighters attract mostly
men
,
while
kindergarten teaching is popular among
women
.
On the other hand
, I believe that the significance of
gender
differences is diminishing and should not be the primary factor in job selection. Nowadays, governments are actively working to ensure
women
's rights and equal opportunities in education and employment.
As a result
, the boundaries in intelligence and capability between
men
and
women
are being blurred.
Furthermore
, it is evident that not all
men
possess great physical strength and not all
women
are inherently meticulous.
Thus
, it is inappropriate to assume that certain
jobs
are suitable only for specific genders. In conclusion,
although
some people argue that each
gender
excels in certain
jobs
due to
inherent characteristics,
this
view is becoming outdated.
Women
now have greater access to higher education and equal opportunities, and not all individuals fit the traditional stereotypes of their
gender
.
Submitted by nphlpro on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are generally well supported. Continue to practice providing specific examples to substantiate your arguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. To enhance your Task Response even more, try to elaborate slightly on how governments are working to blur gender boundaries in education and employment.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is engaging and sets a clear premise for the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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