Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The debate over the place

professionals

Rephrase

where professionals

show examples

should pursue their occupational paths after being trained has sparked considerable debate.

While

Linking Words

some argue that it is constructive for the society if they stayed in the

country

Use synonyms

they were retrained, I,

along with

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others contend that considering doing so in other nations may be more conducive for their holistic development as

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate.

To begin

Linking Words

with, migrating to a

country

Use synonyms

in which a profession is being more frequently and effectively

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

, provides better job

propects

Correct your spelling

prospects

With

Change preposition

show examples

relying on the expertise presented there, individuals can find more job vacancies and

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

higher salaries.

Moreover

Linking Words

, having to forge communications with people from distinct cultures, broadens their professional networks, on which they can rely to seek

assisstance

Correct your spelling

assistance

Such

Linking Words

possibilities

enriches

Change the verb form

enrich

show examples

their professional experiences

further

Linking Words

, subsequent to their sophistication.

This

Linking Words

expertise brings them recognition, public custom and

thus

Linking Words

, more revenue;

therefore

Linking Words

, they'd enjoy a boosted quality of life. Iranian doctors,

for instance

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, who spent years working in the USA hospitals, are of

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

fame among others in Iran and have substantial patients

annualy

Correct your spelling

annually

, highlighting the positive impacts of working in a

country

Use synonyms

well-developed in the medicine field.

On the contrary

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, some may claim that people should remain in the

country

Use synonyms

where they took up

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

to compensate for the government funding allocated for their

prepareness

Correct your spelling

preparedness

by gaining lucrative incomes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they assume that the trainees are required to consider their own society

instead

Linking Words

of another, making great contributions to it, thereby improving the socioeconomic condition of the region. Take Iran as an example; where since the authorities have heightened

country

Use synonyms

exiting fees to hinder sophisticated engineers from moving abroad, the number of skyscrapers constructed surged dramatically.

Although

Linking Words

there is some accuracy to

this

Linking Words

notion, it overlooks the fact that making

this

Linking Words

phenomenon obligatory, only breeds resentment and

disengaement

Correct your spelling

disengagement

. In conclusion,

although

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some advocate for

trainess

Correct your spelling

trainees

trainers

staying in their countries, I firmly believe that moving to a more developed one imparts more merits. In fact, they'd have a

brodened

Correct your spelling

broadened

professional network, enriched experiences and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

improved financial stability.

bita.rezaei7052Fri Jun 28 2024

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task response

The essay addresses both perspectives and presents a clear opinion, which is a strong point. However, it could benefit from more detailed arguments and explanations for both views to deepen the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Introduce clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve logical structure. Ensure each idea logically flows to the next, limiting the occurrence of fragmented thoughts.

general

Check for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can obscure meaning. Aim for varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a sense of completeness and organization.

task response

You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your essay more persuasive and relatable.

task response

You successfully addressed both perspectives before stating your own opinion, demonstrating an understanding of the task requirements.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

professionals
doctors
engineers
required
training
home country
cultural
linguistic
advantages
economic impact
free
another country
globalization
international collaboration
improving
skills
knowledge
experience
opinion

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