'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?
Social
media
plays an increasingly pivotal role in our lives, and being able to use
these systems is definitely an advantage both socially and professionally. However
, it seems an exaggeration to say that ignorance of these matters will ‘always’ restrict people’s careers.
Firstly
, career
progression relies on a whole host of factors, not only on the use
of social media
. For example
, a professional person will have a range of qualifications, ranging from academic exams to vocational certificates and membership of
professional bodies. We see Change preposition
in
this
in the way that successful doctors take increasingly specialised qualifications and join specific institutes to develop their skills. Here, social media
may be a communication tool, but is surely not the driving force behind success. Secondly
, career
development relies greatly on interpersonal skills such
as presentation methods, persuasiveness and negotiation, all of which are used in face-to-face situations rather than remotely. Finally
, we should remember the dangers of social media
and the risk of actually hindering one’s career
, for instance
by accidentally distributing awkward photos or comments which can be an embarrassment personally and professionally. Indeed, many professionals in fact minimise their use
of these media
because of this
risk.
Admittedly, it is true that social media
presents great opportunities for making contacts and networking, for example
by building a following or exchanging updates on a particular topic. However
, this
tends to happen when a person is already qualified and respected in their field, rather than being a cause of success.
In conclusion, it appears that skilful use
of these media
can play a useful role in career
progression, despite the possible risks. Nevertheless
, the fundamental qualifications and personal skills which drive a career
will ensure that those who are not enthusiastic users will still progress as they wish.Submitted by amir1375.6 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from a slightly more extensive development of the supporting points. Providing additional specific examples and more in-depth exploration of certain arguments can make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a more diverse range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will make the essay flow more smoothly and naturally.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear and well-structured approach to the topic, with a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly encapsulate the main arguments. The use of counterarguments is particularly effective.
task achievement
Your task response is thorough and thoughtful, addressing multiple facets of the argument. The examples and arguments you provided are relevant and help substantiate your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?