Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Nowadays, we can observe the
skyrocket
development of communications between all nations and it causes both negative and positive consequences. In general, I do not really consider it Change the verb form
skyrocketing
as
a problem for humankind. Change preposition
apply
Further
I will speculate on the advantages and disadvantages of Add a comma
Further,
this
statement.
First of all, the more we communicate between states the better understanding and decision-making we will achieve. For example
, global problems of asian
countries like China and Taiwan became discussed only after the invention of television. Change the capitalization
Asian
Secondly
, the high rates of tourism in most countries today was
caused by well-calculated air travel chains. Correct subject-verb agreement
were
For instance
, but for the air infrastructure of Dubai Emirates all over the world, we would never heard about their region and company.
On the other hand
, such
drastic usage of telecommunications did not give governments enough time to analyse and adopt necessary security measures that
is why there Correct pronoun usage
which
are
a lot of uncontrolled mass media. The huge number of disinformation and misinformation in all spheres of our Correct subject-verb agreement
is
life
can be considered as Fix the agreement mistake
lives
example
. Add an article
an example
In addition
, some terrorist organisations also
got
access to remote communication and Verb problem
have
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
make
new threats to society. Wrong verb form
making
Hence
, there was a situation when ISIL activity made
a huge Verb problem
had
affect
on American operations in Afghanistan Replace the word
effect
due to
the advanced message system that disorganize
the US forces.
Wrong verb form
disorganised
To conclude
, I would like to highlight the importance of telecommunication and air travel in our modern life. Despite all the negative terms
benefits do have a greater impact. In my opinion, all new technologies that allow us to ease people’s relationships will take place.Add a comma
terms,
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task achievement
The introduction should more clearly state your position on the topic of whether grades make students work harder, as your essay starts discussing global communication instead. Make sure to fully address the given topic.
task achievement
Examples should be more relevant and specific to the topic. Discuss specific instances where grading has motivated students to excel in their studies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that ties back to the central argument about student motivation and grades. Some paragraphs seemed off-topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical flow of ideas is mostly maintained, which helps the reader follow your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, offering a final thought that ties back to your essay's arguments.