What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In a number of metro cities people communicate by using their vehicles, which wastes a lot of
time
and number of effects on people's health
such
as lung cancer and heart disease. With some developments,
this
issue can be sorted out like providing jobs near their residences and public
transport
at cheap rates.
At the end
of
this
topic, I will give my personal experience which I mostly faced in my daily routine. The main reason is a waste of
time
,
while
drivers drive in congested traffic and they have jobs nearby they can utilise that
time
with other tasks. Another factor is that more motor cars produce pollution
such
as air and noise pollution, which results in people suffering from diseases like lung cancer, breathing problems and heart diseases. It
further
puts extra financial pressure on the health system and taxpayers.
Furthermore
, sometimes accidents happen
due to
traffic and travellers die, which sometimes takes extra
time
to clear the roads.
For example
, drivers who come from Rouse Hill and rural areas and travel towards the city, office hours it take hours and hours to reach their workplaces
as a result
emission of carbon dioxide and dangerous gases. These issues can be shorted out with some developments,
firstly
, if companies provide better
transport
systems
such
as train and bus networks, commuters may catch trains and buses.
Secondly
, industries and stores should be near local residents, so they can get employment locally and save
time
and prevent the atmosphere from
further
damage by avoiding driving cars.
In addition
, parking rates in cities must be raised, so individuals can be attracted towards the public
transport
system. In my experience, I am a resident of a rural area and do not have public transportation facilities in my area, so I use my car to travel to the office. In conclusion, following the analysis, it is undeniable to use private wagons
due to
the non-availability of public
transport
but by providing employment locally those workers can solve the issue and extra
time
they can give to their families or make extra money.
Further
, it is predicted that in the future the community will be aware of pollution and will try to use public
transport
systems.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph clearly connects to the next with appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Develop main ideas more comprehensively. Elaborate on each point with detailed explanations and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and provides a forward-looking statement.
task achievement
The essay covers the required components of the task, including identifying effects on society and individuals and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion effectively, providing a clear context for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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