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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #media #people #age #groups #news #country #information #features #comparisons
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The provided chart illustrates the categories of media that people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distinct age groups used to get the daily news in one country in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of people using the
radio
Use synonyms
 from different
ages
Use synonyms
 is higher than the others,
whereas
Linking Words
 the only group is the second-ranking.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social networks indicate a decreasing trend, plus
radio
Use synonyms
 and
micro blogging
Add a hyphen
micro-blogging
show examples
 go up and down several times.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
radio
Use synonyms
 is common for all
ages
Use synonyms
 using it. When the
ages
Use synonyms
 10-17 it only accounts for 40%, but in the next
ages
Use synonyms
 about 18-29, 30-49, 50-64, which aged surgery significantly in using it, and all of
that is
Linking Words
 nearly equal to 93%.
However
Linking Words
, the
aged
Replace the word
age
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 from 65+ dipped notably from 93% to 87%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
radio
Use synonyms
 is the most popular preference, the
Micro blogging
Correct your spelling
Microblogging
show examples
 and Social networks least common. The
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 10-17 and 18-29 in Social networks that have equal to 80% but 30-49, 50-64,
65+
Correct word choice
and 65+
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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decreased sustainably when 80% to 45% and continue to reduce to 10%.
However
Linking Words
,
Micro blogging
Correct your spelling
Microblogging
show examples
 between 10-17 and 18-29 increased gradually
20
Change preposition
from 20
show examples
% to 23% and immediately declined sizably, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result losing
at
Change preposition
apply
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20%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words radio, ages with synonyms.
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