In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In today’s society, the rise of

effort

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-oriented awareness has led to

children

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being taught that hard work can achieve anything they want. These perspectives can contribute to various impacts on

children

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;

therefore

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this

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essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of

this

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message. The major positive effect of telling

children

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that as long as they work hard, they can achieve anything is that it effectively encourages them to make a significant

effort

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to reach their goals.

This

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not only provides pivotal inspiration but

also

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increases their level of confidence.

Moreover

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, as

children

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believe that they have opportunities to accomplish their goals

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apply

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when facing difficulties, they strive to overcome them and try to find ways to address the situation.

This

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approach fosters the advancement of adaptability and resilience. Another positive impact is that

this

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message offers

children

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a sense of purpose, leading to a more meaningful and enjoyable life.

However

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, it is undeniable that the excessive emphasis on

effort

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-oriented awareness has posed some concerning drawbacks. It is a cruel truth that in some cases, relying solely on

effort

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does not guarantee success.

For instance

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, if you aspire to be an athlete, artist, or musician, merely

practicing

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practising

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and putting in

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effort

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the effort

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is not sufficient; these professions rely more on individual talent.

Therefore

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children

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who naively believe that

effort

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alone will bring success may spend a considerable amount of time heading in the wrong direction, resulting in disappointment and a lack of confidence. In conclusion, the

effort

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-oriented nature of cultures causes both upsides and downsides.

Therefore

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, the best approach is to strike a balance, ensuring that

children

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reap the benefits of

this

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perspective without suffering from its adverse effects.

zora840810Fri Jun 28 2024

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task achievement

The essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic thoroughly. However, including more specific examples could strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning real-life scenarios or studies where children benefitted or faced challenges due to this belief would add more depth.

coherence cohesion

While the essay flows logically, creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph would enhance readability. It would also help to ensure all topic sentences directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages being discussed.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview of what will be discussed and summarizing the key points.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported, providing reasons and explanations for both the pros and cons of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas are clear and comprehensive, presenting a balanced view of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Motivation
Ambition
Persevere
Setbacks
Self-confidence
Growth mindset
Dedication
Effort
Unrealistic expectations
Feelings of failure
Neglect
Personal well-being
Burnout
Fixed mindset
Discouragement
Lose motivation

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In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegatables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The table and charts below giv information about doctors in Australia between 1986 nad 2006.

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?