IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people argue that free mass transportation should be available in most major cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

#people #mass #transportation #cities #idea
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Recently public
opinions
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opinion
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show
Wrong verb form
has shown
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 the need
of
Change preposition
for
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 free and accessible
mass
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transportation
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 for most major cities. I will elaborate
the
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on the
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 benefits and the drawbacks of free public
transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of cities.
Due to
Linking Words
 the rising demand for convenient traffic to mobilisation, The government tries to provide free public
transportations
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transportation
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 that has several advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it will increase energy saving and reduce the mobility costs. Driving private cars will
cost
Verb problem
cause
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 people to buy higher prices in
fuels
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fuel
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. The government must provide more energy supply for private usage.
For instance
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, an employee who uses a private car needs to provide a budget for petrol or electric bills and car maintenance every month or year.
However
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, using
mass
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
 will be free of charge.
Moreover
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, the other advantage is
time
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 efficiency to mobile.
Mass
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transportation
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 in most major cities has developed to connect
an
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and
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 arrange to be on
time
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 based on the schedule.
For example
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, going to work office by commuter train takes 40 minutes, rather than driving
car
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a car
the car
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 which takes 80 minutes
until
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to
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 120 minutes.
On the other hand
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, public
transportation
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 has some disadvantages. Public
transportation
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 has
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of management traffic which will potentially cause crash traffic and delay the schedule.
As a result
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, it will not be efficient
your
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for your
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time
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, using
mass
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transportation
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 may not be flexible for us to stop
in
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at
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 every place that we need to visit. Public
transportation
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 usually connects the passengers in every hub, so if there is a specific place
that is
Linking Words
 far from the Hub, the passenger needs to access other
transportation
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 that might be charged more cost. In conclusion, free public
transportation
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 is more efficient in energy and
time
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 to travel, but it still has some potential inefficiency
due to
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 lack of maintenance and not being flexible to move to every destination. I prefer to use
mass
Use synonyms
transportation
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according to
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 its efficiency.
Submitted by muh.atho on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the key aspects of the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of free public transportation. However, it would benefit from more detailed explanations for some points, such as the specific cost savings for individuals and the broader environmental benefits.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure and progression, there are occasional lapses in clarity and coherence. Sentences like 'For instance, an employee who uses a private car needs to provide a budget for petrol or electric bills and car maintenance every month or year' could be more concise and clearer. Ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Your essay has a solid introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well. This helps in providing a complete response to the task.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, particularly with the comparison between using a private car and public transportation.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, and most points are well-organized, contributing to overall clarity.
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