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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates
comparison
Correct article usage
a comparison
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 in the rate of population between
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Philippines
Use synonyms
 ,Malaysia,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia between 1970
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2040.The data are mesured in persentsages.
overall
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,all given countries experience an upward trend.
Although
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 Indonesia
initially
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 was the lowest, it outraced
Thailand
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 and the Philipines
at the end
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 of the period. on the one hand, the initial number for Malaysia and
Philippines
Use synonyms
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
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 the same at around 30%.
However
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, Malaysia showed a dramatic increase between 1970 to 2020.
In addition
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, they expect that
this
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 percentage will continue to rise and reach a peak in 2030 at around 80%. With regard to the
Use synonyms
Philippines
Add a comma
Philippines,
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 it stayed about the same
at
Change preposition
in
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 the first decade at 30% and
then
Linking Words
 it rose to become the third on the list at around 50% in 2030.
on the other hand
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,
Thailand
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 and Indonesia were less than 20% in 1970.
whereas
Linking Words
 ,
Thailand
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 increased
charply
Correct your spelling
sharply
 and exceeded the
Philippines
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 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 at 30% and 40% respectively
and
Correct word choice
apply
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. It is expected that the rate of population
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 will increase to roughly 60% in 2030.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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