You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

#room #college #hostel #move #permission #type

Dear Sir or Madam,

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am writing

this

letter in

regerds

Correct your spelling

regards

to the severe problems

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show examples

face in my college

hostel

room

. I have been in

this

room

for less than a year now and things

keeps

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keep

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getting worse and

woser

Correct your spelling

worse

as the day goes by. My name is

keziah

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Keziah

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boye studying Nursing and

currently

Add a missing verb

am currently

show examples

Change the pronoun

the

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second semester of my first year in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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college. I moved in into the

hostel

room

on the 1st of January 2024, and

icurrently

Correct your spelling

currently

I currently

share it with another

room mate

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roommate

show examples

. The

hostel

room

's windows are very difficult and open and

currently

Add a comma

currently,

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we have a broken window which we have

writen

Correct your spelling

written

for it to get fixed but to no avail.

In addition

to that the walls of the

room

has

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have

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not been painted , we were told

Correct pronoun usage

they

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will

Wrong verb form

would

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be painted before we

move

Wrong verb form

moved

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in and

also

the electrical ports in the rooms do not work ,

this

has made it

diificult

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difficult

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studing

Correct your spelling

study

. I would like to request for a new

hostel

room

. I want a

room

that has been painted and

also

has

woring

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working

elctrical

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electrical

ports and

also

with accessible windows to allow for light and fresh air. Hope to hear from you soon. thank you. yours sincerely

keziah

Change the capitalization

Keziah

show examples

Submitted by keziahboye58 on Fri Jun 28 2024

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task achievement

Pay close attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For example, correct 'regerds' to 'regards' and 'woser' to 'worse'.

task achievement

Provide more specific details about the severity of the problems and how they affect daily life to make a stronger case for moving.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve readability.

task achievement

You provided clear descriptions of the issues you are facing, covering multiple aspects like windows, painting, and electrical ports.

coherence cohesion

Your letter follows a logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by the problems, and ending with a request.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

209 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

some people say that governments should spend money on building theatres and sport station. Instead, they should spend money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+