You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

#room #college #hostel #move #permission #type

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Dear Sir or Madam,

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am writing

this

Linking Words

letter in

regerds

Correct your spelling

regards

to the severe problems

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face in my college

hostel

Use synonyms

room

Use synonyms

. I have been in

this

Linking Words

room

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for less than a year now and things

keeps

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keep

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getting worse and

woser

Correct your spelling

worse

as the day goes by. My name is

keziah

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Keziah

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boye studying Nursing and

currently

Add a missing verb

am currently

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Change the pronoun

the

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second semester of my first year in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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college. I moved in into the

hostel

Use synonyms

room

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on the 1st of January 2024, and

icurrently

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currently

I currently

share it with another

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room mate

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roommate

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. The

hostel

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room

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's windows are very difficult and open and

currently

Add a comma

currently,

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we have a broken window which we have

writen

Correct your spelling

written

for it to get fixed but to no avail.

In addition

Linking Words

to that the walls of the

room

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has

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have

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not been painted , we were told

Correct pronoun usage

they

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will

Wrong verb form

would

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be painted before we

move

Wrong verb form

moved

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in and

also

Linking Words

the electrical ports in the rooms do not work ,

this

Linking Words

has made it

diificult

Correct your spelling

difficult

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studing

Correct your spelling

study

. I would like to request for a new

hostel

Use synonyms

room

Use synonyms

. I want a

room

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that has been painted and

also

Linking Words

has

woring

Correct your spelling

working

elctrical

Correct your spelling

electrical

ports and

also

Linking Words

with accessible windows to allow for light and fresh air. Hope to hear from you soon. thank you. yours sincerely

keziah

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Keziah

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Submitted by keziahboye58 on Fri Jun 28 2024

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task achievement

Pay close attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For example, correct 'regerds' to 'regards' and 'woser' to 'worse'.

task achievement

Provide more specific details about the severity of the problems and how they affect daily life to make a stronger case for moving.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve readability.

task achievement

You provided clear descriptions of the issues you are facing, covering multiple aspects like windows, painting, and electrical ports.

coherence cohesion

Your letter follows a logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by the problems, and ending with a request.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

209 words

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that if old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday they will become fit. However these days older people are usually lonely and donot talk to others which makes them unfit and how unhappy. What are the reasons for this? How can this be resolved

These days, there are many different news platforms. What are the functions of news. Is all news in these platforms true?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment?