Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In educational fields, grading
students
is a debatable topic. In my opinion, I mostly agree with
this
evaluation because giving grades to them may improve their scores in school subjects and develop competitiveness. Admittedly, scoring
students
' performances seem to have some negative aspects.
For instance
,
students
who get low scores in school examinations might lose their motivation to
study
. These negative experiences can
also
harm learners' confidence, leading to them being less resilient and patient. In
such
a case, teachers and parents should encourage them and teach them how to struggle with those challenges.
However
, objective feedback perhaps gives
students
various advantages. A good example can be seen in some academic schools, where excellent scores are announced in public.
This
appreciation could encourage them to make more effort to
study
and develop their competitiveness.
In contrast
, in academically low-grade schools, these public announcements are hardly made, which may make
students
feel more reluctant to
study
hard.
Additionally
, evaluating their work apparently gives them more opportunities to reflect on themselves.
For example
, learners can improve and think about their mistakes and failures through detailed feedback from teachers.
As a result
of repetitive reflection on oneself, a student can be a well-balanced character which is advantageous in later working life.
Furthermore
, if there was no grading system,
students
would lose these precious chances to enhance their academic abilities. In conclusion, scoring
students
' grades has several benefits and drawbacks. I believe that appropriate evaluations can improve their learning abilities and encourage them to be more competitive,
although
overreliance on the scoring system may lose their motivation to
study
.
Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on

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task response
To improve your task response, try to provide more specific examples and detailed reasons for your points. Incorporating real-world scenarios or studies can help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your paragraphs. Transitional words and phrases can help in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument and your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points, reinforcing your stance.
task response
You effectively presented both sides of the argument and provided a balanced view on the topic, which makes your essay comprehensive and well-rounded.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible goals
  • measurable target
  • concrete sense of achievement
  • feedback mechanism
  • strengths and weaknesses
  • competition
  • incentive
  • outperform
  • scholarships
  • future opportunities
  • self-esteem
  • personal satisfaction
  • external pressure
  • societal expectations
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