It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#development #technology #people #st #century #time #prediction

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It has been frequently argued that the innovation of technologies could allow citizens in the 21st century to enjoy more leisure

time

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. In

this

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essay, I would like to shed light on perspective

along with

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my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, undeniably, with the help of modern technologies, a huge amount of

time

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can be saved both at work and in life.

Firstly

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, technological revolutions make people’s offices efficient, so that they have more

time

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to relax.

For example

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, many search software makes people find the information they need quickly and easily.

Secondly

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technology

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can improve the efficiency of daily tasks.

For instance

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, household equipment

such

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as washing machines and dishwashers reduce the

time

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spent on housework.

In addition

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, online classes help individuals easily acquire knowledge.

Thus

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this

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can help the public to study anytime and anywhere, saving commuting

time

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On the other hand

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, technological advancements still have some obstacles to our lives. Many people nowadays do not feel they are relieved, they seem to be busier and more stressed. In the workplace, despite the remarkably effective use of

technology

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, employees are under high pressure, worrying that they may be replaced by machines or other competitors.

Therefore

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, residents have to spend more

time

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learning and honing new skills to secure their jobs.

Technology

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can cause distraction and a lack of focus.

Consequently

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, using social networks too much can affect negatively mental health and reduce the quality of square

time

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, when users always have to check messages and respond immediately. In conclusion,

while

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there are various reasons why people may be busier in the 21st century, advancements in science and

technology

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have indeed provided individuals with more free

time

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for self-improvement and relaxation.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Sat Jun 29 2024

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introduction

The introduction is clear and it outlines the writer's intention to discuss the topic, but it could be slightly more engaging. Try to state your opinion clearly in the introduction to set the tone for the essay.

task response

The essay covers relevant points and provides specific examples, but it would benefit from a more balanced discussion. Both sides of the argument are presented, but the support for main points could be improved with more comprehensive explanations.

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. While the essay is generally cohesive, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using cohesive devices more effectively can help to connect your points better.

conclusion

While the conclusion effectively reiterates the main points, it could be strengthened by summarizing the key arguments and providing a final opinion more explicitly.

support

The essay provides specific examples, such as the use of household equipment and online classes, which add depth to the discussion.

structure

The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

balance

The writer covers both perspectives of the topic, giving a balanced view which is crucial for a high task response score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You rent an apartment and you are quite happy with it but you want to suggest a renovation. Write a letter about your suggestion. In your letter, you should tell: - Your appreciation of current condition - What is the renovation and why? - What is the benefits of your suggestion?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that government should take care of diet of all individuals of country , others think that people should themselves take care of diet and health, discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that companies should hire young people. Others say that older experienced staff should be hired.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.