Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today’s
intensly
competitive world, most individuals are following their sentiments in education or career. In current society, whether focusing more on Correct your spelling
intensely
team work
or solitary work is a matter of debate. I subscribe to the prior argument for some reasons.
On the one hand, the idea of establishing a Correct your spelling
teamwork
competition
between students has gain
popularity among schools. To clarify, when a challenge Change the verb form
gained
started
between a group of students who are Wrong verb form
starts
tempting
to chase their dreams, their endeavour will be increased Wrong verb form
tempted
drasticly
. Correct your spelling
drastically
This
is mainely
due Correct your spelling
mainly
the
fact that they tend to surpass their rivals, and a biological condition, which sparks by a challenge Change preposition
to the
then
leads to adrenalin
rush. The Correct article usage
an adrenalin
sitution
is called Correct your spelling
situation
fight
or flight condition. Correct article usage
a fight
Therefore
, body
is focused on better Add an article
the body
performances
.
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
On the other hand
, in novel methods of education
there Add a comma
education,
are
a greater tendency Change the verb form
is
on
enhancement of Change preposition
to
colabrations
. Correct your spelling
collaboration
In other words
, in these methods
students may focus on notions that are helpful for a community either Add a comma
methods,
small
one Correct article usage
a small
such
as workplace
or Correct article usage
a workplace
huge
one Correct article usage
a huge
such
as a country. Furthermore
, being on
Change preposition
apply
a
Remove the article
apply
stress
Replace the word
stressed
due to
a
Remove the article
apply
competition
will devestate
Correct your spelling
devastate
the
health conditions. In my opinion, improving the sense of cooperation will create countless benefits Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
for
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
such
as improving communication, sense
of Correct article usage
a sense
generousity
, and developing Correct your spelling
generosity
cognitive
. Change the adjective
cognitively
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
competition
directly can influence on
performance, some Change preposition
apply
collectively
Change the word
collective
trainnig
would enhance Correct your spelling
training
the
performance. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, there has been a direct corrolation
Correct your spelling
correlation
with
Change preposition
between
Correct article usage
a healtier
healtier
lifestyle and Correct your spelling
healthier
team work
abilities, in Correct your spelling
teamwork
this
respect developed countries such
as the USA, Sweden, and Australia are the standout examples.
To conclude
, adopting a
Correct article usage
apply
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
indispencable
, in Correct your spelling
indispensable
this
regards
teamwork practices could keep them sane. Correct subject-verb agreement
regard
Although
competition
has its own effects on performance, the insane condition
that will Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
consequently
come is
harmful, so we should avoid Correct subject-verb agreement
are
from
it.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each point naturally follows from the previous one, and that paragraphs are well-connected.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should better summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion in a clearer manner.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are fully developed with relevant and specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Improve clarity by eliminating grammatical errors and by using varied sentence structures. This will help your ideas to be more comprehensible.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the discussion well, and there are clear attempts to discuss various aspects of the topic.