Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In some people’s opinion
the
life in Correct article usage
apply
megapolises
is unhealthy and living there harms their wellbeing
. Correct your spelling
well-being
Although
I admit that in big cities there are
certainly a lot of transportation which exhausts fume and Change the verb form
is
therefore
pollute
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollutes
air
, I am mostly of the opinion that in Add an article
the air
megapolises
based
Verb problem
there are
a
plenty Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
prospects
for increasing your both life and health levels.
Admittedly life in Change preposition
of prospects
megapolises
full
of pollution Add a missing verb
is full
however
it is full of advantages and opportunities of
Change preposition
for
versatile
lifestyle. Even though the environment in Correct article usage
a versatile
megapolises
is not pure, in my point of view you have full
range of career Add an article
a full
the full
choice
and easily can go up with your income. These will Fix the agreement mistake
choices
definetly
be good for your health.
Another worth is about relaxation. For Correct your spelling
definitely
me
it is a more important point when people Add a comma
me,
could
easily attend Wrong verb form
can
sport
clubs or take benefits from big Change the noun form
sports
cities
entertainment facilities and Change noun form
cities'
city's
also
might relax with spa procedures. These are crucial for maintaining your both mental and physical health.
Finally
in Add a comma
Finally,
big
Add an article
a big
the big
city
there is an opportunity for your self-development Add a comma
city,
whereas
in smaller
one it is almost impossible. If Correct article usage
a smaller
in
first there are a lot of museums, art Change preposition
at
centers
Change the spelling
centres
and
etc. to increase your intelligence and education, in Correct word choice
apply
second
one you may barely find Change the article
the second
such
variety of places to visit. So I prefer living in big
city rather than in Add an article
a big
small
one or even more in Correct article usage
a small
village
with clear air and environment.Add an article
the village
a village
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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be clearer if it directly states your opinion: 'While living in big cities can have negative effects on health due to pollution, I believe that the benefits for personal and professional development outweigh these concerns.'
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs to clearly reflect distinct points. For instance, one paragraph could be dedicated to career opportunities, another to relaxation and mental health, and another to self-development possibilities.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to substantiate your points. For example, mention specific types of career opportunities available only in big cities or name particular facilities that contribute to relaxation and health.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the health concerns while emphasizing the benefits of living in big cities.
coherence cohesion
Your argument is generally well-organized and flows logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
You provide relevant points concerning both professional and personal development that are compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.