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Writing Samples
Band 5

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

#availability #airlines #people #travel #world #feel #development
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It is argued by some that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cheap airline
tickets
Use synonyms
, which
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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people
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 to
travel
Use synonyms
 worldwide
is
Change the verb form
are
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 a good trend, whilst others believe it is a negative. Inexpensive
tickets
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 may provide an opportunity for
people
Use synonyms
 to explore different nations and expand their social network.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the excessive
number
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 of travellers might cause to enlargement of litter
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
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any corner of
country
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the country
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, contributing to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of nature. On the one hand,
low cost
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
tickets
Use synonyms
 may give an opportunity for a
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to
travel
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 around the globe.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, the
tickets
Use synonyms
 might be affordable to everyone, especially lower-status individuals who could dream it.
Also
Linking Words
, despite the vacations in
native
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the native
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 country, that used to be planned, now
people
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 can be given an opportunity to
travel
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 abroad, exploring cultures.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Aviasales, airline company provides as
more
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 cheap
tickets
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 as possible in Kazakhstan.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, travellers can expand their social network by making international friends. All these possibilities can develop
people
Use synonyms
’s outlook about the World, which I believe
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be a positive development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it might bring more international
people
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 with different manners, either law-abiding or worse.
In other words
Linking Words
, these
people
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 can behave negatively towards
to
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apply
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the environment, namely
littering
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by littering
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. To illustrate,
French
Correct article usage
the French
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 parliament estimated the total amount of garbage over the few years
,
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apply
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 and claimed that there has been more garbage than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 years,
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists. Currently, states are looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the solutions, restricting some popular avia companies,
recommending
Correct word choice
and recommending
show examples
 cheap
tickets
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 cheap
tickets
Use synonyms
 allow more
people
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 to
travel
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, it might cause a
number
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 of problems, especially related to the environment.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be tackled with detailed solutions providing special penalties.
Submitted by mako_09.01 on

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Task achievement
Improve your grammatical range and accuracy. Avoid small errors such as incorrect usage of articles and prepositions. For instance, 'cause to enlargement of litter' should be 'cause the enlargement of litter.'
Task achievement
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and concisely. Sometimes, the sentences are too complex and could be misunderstood. Simplifying sentence structure can enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Better structure your essay by linking your ideas more effectively. Using more cohesive devices can ensure that your argument flows more smoothly.
Task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion by covering both positive and negative aspects of low-cost airlines.
Task achievement
Inclusion of specific examples, such as the mention of the French Parliament and Aviasales, adds depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces your opinion, showing a good understanding of essay structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Affordability
  • Global mobility
  • Convenience
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural exchange
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Drawbacks
  • Sustainable travel
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