Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Guardians
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Guardians'
Guardian's
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and teachers’ debate regarding whether to exert control over
children
's
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
or allow them to act freely is a controversial one. In my view, I firmly believe that it is essential to properly regulate
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
To begin
with, some teachers and guardians argue that
children
should have the freedom to act without restraint. They believe that
children
should be able to express themselves and behave as they wish, including how they interact with others or express themselves in social settings.
However
, I disagree with
this
perspective as I believe
children
need guidance and structure, particularly
at
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in
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the first stages of their lives.
On the other hand
, there are those who advocate for a more hands-on approach, emphasizing the need for
children
to be supervised and instructed in essential
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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such
as polite communication, appropriate language use, and the content they consume. They argue that controlling
children
is a significant responsibility that both parents and teachers should prioritize as it is crucial to shield
children
from negative influences by monitoring and regulating their activities. Briefly
to conclude
,
while
some parents believe in giving
children
complete freedom, I disagree with
this
approach for the reasons mentioned above. I firmly believe that it is not only beneficial but
also
crucial to carefully guide and regulate
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to ensure their well-being and development.
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph seamlessly transitions into the next. While your paragraphs are well-structured, adding transitional phrases can enhance the flow and cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on both views slightly more to demonstrate a balanced consideration of each side before presenting your own opinion. This will show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion and provided a supportive argument for your stance, which contributes to the completion and clarity of your response.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing a good level of understanding and engagement with the task.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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