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Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #teachers #children’s #behavior #think #children
Guardians
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Guardians'
Guardian's
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 and teachers’ debate regarding whether to exert control over
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 or allow them to act freely is a controversial one. In my view, I firmly believe that it is essential to properly regulate
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
To begin
 with, some teachers and guardians argue that
children
 should have the freedom to act without restraint. They believe that
children
 should be able to express themselves and behave as they wish, including how they interact with others or express themselves in social settings.
However
, I disagree with
this
 perspective as I believe
children
 need guidance and structure, particularly
at
Change preposition
in
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 the first stages of their lives.
On the other hand
, there are those who advocate for a more hands-on approach, emphasizing the need for
children
 to be supervised and instructed in essential
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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such
 as polite communication, appropriate language use, and the content they consume. They argue that controlling
children
 is a significant responsibility that both parents and teachers should prioritize as it is crucial to shield
children
 from negative influences by monitoring and regulating their activities. Briefly
to conclude
,
while
 some parents believe in giving
children
 complete freedom, I disagree with
this
 approach for the reasons mentioned above. I firmly believe that it is not only beneficial but
also
 crucial to carefully guide and regulate
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 to ensure their well-being and development.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
For a higher score, consider incorporating more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph seamlessly transitions into the next. While your paragraphs are well-structured, adding transitional phrases can enhance the flow and cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on both views slightly more to demonstrate a balanced consideration of each side before presenting your own opinion. This will show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion and provided a supportive argument for your stance, which contributes to the completion and clarity of your response.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing a good level of understanding and engagement with the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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