Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
According to
the advance of technology
, nowadays people
have more opportunities interact
with each other. Fix the infinitive
to interact
However
, I think technology
will bring disadvantages more than advantages to us in the future.
Technology
has several ways to impact the different kind
of relationships between Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
people
. Firstly
, because of public transportation
we can easily Add a comma
transportation,
to
travel around the world and learn different types of Fix the infinitive
apply
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
ritual
, it Fix the agreement mistake
rituals
make
our bonding tight with other countries. Change the verb form
makes
Additionally
, the internet also
plays a crucial role in our dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
live
, it not only Replace the word
lives
make
us keep Change the verb form
makes
the
online Correct article usage
apply
interact
with Replace the word
interacting
friends
and families who live in other countries, but also
provide
a new way to rich our social life. Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
For instance
, we can make new friends
online and learn different kind
of food and Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
people
through the internet.
Although
technology
bring
several convenient and novel social Change the verb form
brings
life
to us; Fix the agreement mistake
lives
however
, there are some drawbacks development
. We can easily make Change preposition
to development
friends
online, while
there are plenty of scams behind the internet. For example
, young people
might knew
a girl from Change the verb form
know
instagram
but Change the capitalization
Instagram
couldn't
easily Wrong verb form
can't
to
distinguish Fix the infinitive
apply
she
is fake or real, they might spend their money only Correct word choice
whether she
for
chat with her. Change preposition
to
In addition
, interact
with Wrong verb form
interacting
friends
online is not a great way to keep relationship
. When you face them in Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
real
world, both of you may feel Add an article
the real
embarrass
and Change the verb form
embarrassed
self-conciouse
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
self-conscious
self-consciously
although
the advance of technology
can bring us enjoy
and surprise; Replace the word
enjoyment
however
, there are lots of traps in social media. You can easily travel different
countries because of Change preposition
to different
Add an article
the advance
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
of
transportation; Change preposition
in
however
, that is
too costly to
Change preposition
for
normal
Add an article
a normal
the normal
person
.Fix the agreement mistake
people
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task but the response lacks depth in certain areas. Provide more balanced examples of both positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships.
task achievement
Ideas are partially clear but there are instances of ambiguity. Aim to express ideas more comprehensively and clearly.
task achievement
Some main points are supported with examples, but the examples could be more specific and varied to better illustrate the points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion but the transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. Work on smoother transitions and logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be enhanced by having clearer topic sentences and ensuring all parts of the essay flow well together.
coherence cohesion
The main points need more comprehensive support to make the arguments more convincing. Consider expanding on examples and explanations.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame the discussion.
relevant specific examples
Some relevant examples are provided to illustrate the points made, adding some depth to the discussion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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