IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plan below shows a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

#plan #harbour
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The depicted maps illustrate the condition of
Use synonyms
harbour
Add an article
the harbour
a harbour
show examples
 in 2000 and the developments of today.
Overall
Linking Words
, the current situation of the
harbour
Use synonyms
 has changed to hospitality and tourism.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Main
Change the article
the Main
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 has been built to provide two intersections which are to the north and south
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In 2000 on the north side of
porth
Change the capitalization
Porth
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harbour
Use synonyms
, the main
road
Use synonyms
 connected to the car park which was a shower and towels above and next to it there was a private yacht called Marina.
Next,
Linking Words
there were two ferries with one deck on the edge of
Use synonyms
harbour
Add an article
the harbour
show examples
 which aligned in the way of the public beach. Now, there are renovated places in
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 Marina is converted to fishing boats
while
Linking Words
 decks are added into two to occupy
three passenger
Add a hyphen
three-passenger
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 ferries.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2000 on the south side of Porth
harbour
Use synonyms
, the main
road
Use synonyms
interconnected
Add a missing verb
was interconnected
show examples
 with a car park and fishing boats on the left.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
Use synonyms
road
Add a comma
road,
show examples
 there was a lifeboat.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a castle which was discussed and a public beach next to it. Today, the
road
Use synonyms
 which is headed to the car park changes to the west with showers and toilets.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
Marina
Correct article usage
the Marina
show examples
 replaced fishing boats. Along the
road
Use synonyms
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
caffe
Correct your spelling
cafes
 & shops adjacent to the lifeboat
while
Linking Words
 there is an additional intersection to the hotel providing a private beach.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between different parts of your essay. Focus on creating clearer transitions between descriptions of different areas and changes.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but some sentences can be rephrased for improved clarity. Simplifying complex sentence structures will enhance comprehension.
grammar
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and articles ('a', 'an', 'the') for better grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response by accurately describing the changes in the harbour from 2000 to today.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to illustrate the developments of the map, which strengthens the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an overall logical structure with a clear division between descriptions of the north and south sides of the harbour.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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