In some cities of the world, cars are repalcing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments. In your opinion, which one is better?
Nowadays the behavior of using friendly transportation is more common. There are several reasons
about
replacing Change preposition
for
cars
with bicycles or the opposite, Two main reasons are: the
culture and concern about the environment. In my opinion, I would like to see cities that are not dominated by Correct article usage
apply
cars
.
The major reason that make
Verb problem
apply
people’s
replacing Wrong verb form
people are
the
bicycles Correct article usage
apply
are
the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
vehicals
technological advancements. Correct your spelling
vehicles
people
want to reach everywhere quickly without any phsical
Correct your spelling
physical
efforts
as we know that Fix the agreement mistake
effort
bicycle
needs a fit and healthy life to use Correct article usage
a bicycle
it
without fatigue. A realistic example, in Correct pronoun usage
apply
Amstardam
many Correct your spelling
Amsterdam
of
Change preposition
apply
bicycle sharing
schemes Add a hyphen
bicycle-sharing
was
rejected and that's because they saw a Change the verb form
were
glourious
future for the car.
Correct your spelling
glorious
On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
had
changed and Wrong verb form
have
the
society Correct article usage
apply
became
more environmentally conscious. using bicycles Wrong verb form
has become
instead
of cars
will make a big difference on
the climate. small movements like Change preposition
in
this
could make a good habitat. For example
, people
in Amasterdam
are keen on Correct your spelling
Amsterdam
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
bicycle
and Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
its
a part of their culture which Correct your spelling
it's
mean
that Correct subject-verb agreement
means
on
the long term Change preposition
in
and
the next generation will prefer Correct word choice
apply
bisycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
instead
of cars
.
In conclusion, cars
are
Wrong verb form
have been
fascinated
for many decades. Replace the word
fascinating
Nevertheless
, The vast majority of people
are
Verb problem
have
became
more Wrong verb form
become
muture
and Correct your spelling
mature
concern
about the environment and I'm one of those Wrong verb form
concerned
people
who would choose bicycle
to reduce air pollution and other problems.Add an article
a bicycle
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task achievement
Your essay can be strengthened by providing more detailed examples and explanations for both the reasons behind the switch from cars to bicycles and vice versa. This can help in achieving a complete and clear response.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and misspellings that distract the reader. For example, 'repalcing' should be 'replacing,' 'vehicals' should be 'vehicles,' and 'phsical' should be 'physical.' Make sure to proofread your essay or use grammar-checking tools.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should be more elaborate. It briefly mentions the reasons without explaining much about them. Consider expanding your introduction to set a better context for your discussion.
task achievement
You have chosen a clear stance on the topic and supported it with relevant points, showing your understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, which helps in maintaining coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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