In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.
Toursmity has become widespread across the globe,
hence
people travel to attractive countries
on vacations and spend a huge amount there. The income of these countries
depends on tourism
totally or partially, it could become the initial source
of these states and have a positive impact on them. however
, it might cause serious consideration if it is the only source
. This
essay will display the benefits and drawbacks of this
case substantially.
The Financial Benefits of tourism
are countless and expand in the cities by raising the fundamental developments and the citizens' revenue. Furthermore
, it creates new jobs that could increase the national economy with great advantages for individuals and governments. Especially for countries
that have no natural resources, for instance
, the Kingdom of Jordan depends majorly on tourism
which refreshes their economy and the development of their country.
However
, The drawbacks of depending on tourism
as the major income is risky are that the attractive places could be less important for some visitors or these places could affected negatively due to
reasons like the Covid-19 crisis. All countries
had a damaged financial impact therefore
a lot lost their jobs and tourism
stopped which reflected the risk of laying on the avenue of visitors.
To conclude
, tourism
is a great source
of income for several countries
which empowers their economy positively ,leads to the development of many cities, and supports the life of locals. However
, the risk depends on it as the only source
. the advantages absolutely outweigh the disadvantages.
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task achievement
You have done a good job of addressing the topic and laying out the benefits and drawbacks of relying on tourism as a major source of revenue. However, try to better support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next to improve coherence. Consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences need rephrasing to improve clarity. For instance, "The Financial Benefits of tourism are countless and expand in the cities by raising the fundamental developments and the citizens' revenue" could be clearer if rephrased or broken into smaller sentences.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of relying on tourism, giving a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
The essay remains focused on the topic, which is an excellent point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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