Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The schooling system could be a broad discussion topic for some open-minded people. Some people argue that
school
is a waste of
time
and other groups claim that
school
is fundamental for education. In my opinion,
children
who are still growing up require
school
as a medium, not only to develop their intellectual, but
also
social skills. In the
school
,
besides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transferring knowledge, human interaction
also
occurs to connect the teachers with students, or between students.
However
, spending
time
in
school
can be a waste of
time
too.
For instance
, every kid should attend every lesson
that is
being taught in the class.
Although
it is necessary for the curriculum, it might not be beneficial to every student since not all of them
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
a similar study method. During
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
process, every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
will develop their ability through different learning styles which is merely not obtained from the
school
.
Therefore
, various extracurricular activities
such
as sports, arts, and other tasks outside the
school
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
vital to the development progress of the
children
.
Additionally
, having more
time
with their family is
also
necessary for
children
's growth.
Parent
Add an article
The parent
A parent
show examples
is the primary teacher
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
children
, and education through
parenting
Correct article usage
the parenting
show examples
system could boost the improvement of
children
's
emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
. In summary, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the importance of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
process at
school
to
ehance
Correct your spelling
enhance
cognitive and social skills, providing
time
outside the
school
is
also
vital for
children
's growth to expand their perspective through extracurricular programs.
Additionally
,
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthening
the connection between
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
and
children
at home is
also
required for
children
to develop their emotional maturity.
Submitted by fakhruddinmasse on

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relevant specific examples
Try to be more specific in your examples. For instance, instead of saying 'every kid should attend every lesson,' you could mention specific subjects that students might find less beneficial.
logical structure
Ensure that your main points are clearly and distinctly developed in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea to improve clarity and coherence.
logical structure
Work on the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more connecting phrases to make the essay smoother and more logically connected.
complete response
Good job including both sides of the argument in your essay, which addresses the prompt well.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay contains a good balance of intellectual and emotional development points, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • social skills
  • well-rounded education
  • outdated curriculum
  • technological advancements
  • job market needs
  • subject relevance
  • career paths
  • diverse skill set
  • knowledge base
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