It is thought by some that its is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some
people
argue that living in the inner Use synonyms
city
is ideal Use synonyms
while
others argue that living outside the Linking Words
city
is better. I believe that living in urban Use synonyms
areas
offers some benefits, but residing in rural Use synonyms
areas
is better.
Individuals living in the Use synonyms
city
have more access to high-paying job opportunities. Employees working in the financial industry receive high salaries and bonuses working in the Use synonyms
city
compared to the countryside. Use synonyms
For instance
, studies have revealed that Linking Words
people
employed in the banking sector received higher salaries compared to those working outside the Use synonyms
city
. Use synonyms
This
shows the financial opportunities available to Linking Words
people
employed in urban Use synonyms
areas
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, a major benefit of living in the Linking Words
city
is the proximity of shops. There are multiple shops Use synonyms
such
as convenience stores, restaurants and barbers within a short distance of each other. Linking Words
This
removes the need for Linking Words
people
to take cars to shops.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are several benefits to living in rural Linking Words
areas
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, neighbours are familiar with each other. Linking Words
This
allows for cooperation, tolerance and reliance. If a neighbour is in trouble, they will rally around each other. Linking Words
For example
, I grew up in a tight-knit community in the countryside where neighbours supported and uplifted each other. Linking Words
Secondly
, schools have fewer students which allows children to learn in a conducive and quiet environment. Linking Words
For example
, children learning in small rooms tend to perform better than those learning in big classrooms. Linking Words
Finally
, violent and serious crimes are less common in the countryside Linking Words
due to
the active presence of neighbourhood police.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I believe that Linking Words
city
living offers good financial prospects, but residing in rural Use synonyms
areas
has more benefits.Use synonyms
Submitted by mraha409 on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases that clearly link the ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing additional evidence or examples for each main point you make.
general
Work on a few grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies to elevate your overall writing. For example, use 'it's' instead of 'its' in the introduction, and 'fewer students' rather than 'a few students'. These small changes can make the essay more polished.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding sentence.
task achievement
You provided specific examples which make your arguments more convincing. For instance, the salary comparison in the financial sector and the community support example from your own experience.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives fairly and provides a thoughtful conclusion expressing personal opinion, which addresses the task effectively.