IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city ofNewtown between 1980 and 1996.

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city ofNewtown between 1980 and 1996.
#complaints #noise #health #authorities #city #ofnewtown
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart presents the
complaint
Use synonyms
 numbers reported to
Environmental
Correct article usage
the Environmental
show examples
 Health authorities of Newton about
noise
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1996.
Overall
Linking Words
, The highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
noise
Use synonyms
complaints
Use synonyms
 comes from Domestic or household,
while
Linking Words
 the
noise
Use synonyms
 from Road construction
was complained
Change to the active voice
complained
has complained
show examples
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 least. It is clearly noticeable that the
complaint
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 reported about factories has remained stable. Interestingly, the trend of the
complaint
Use synonyms
 numbers about traffic is similar to the trend from the household graph, but in the lower levels. In 1980, 500
complaints
Use synonyms
 about
noise
Use synonyms
 from households were reported.
This
Linking Words
 remained unchanged until 1984 before the drop to 400 where it remained stable until 1988.
However
Linking Words
, the
complaint
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
noise
Use synonyms
 surged to the peak of 1200 in 1996, which was seen as the highest
complaint
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 of all
complaints
Use synonyms
 about
noise
Use synonyms
 in Newtown.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
complaints
Use synonyms
 about traffic in 1980 started at 300 and remained stable until 1984 before dropping and bouncing to 600 in 1996. The factories
complaints
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 about 400 and slightly increase to approximately 500 in 1986 and stable at
this
Linking Words
 rate until 1996. Significantly, the traffic
complaints
Use synonyms
 continuously decreased from more than around 600 (in 1980) to around 100 (in 1996)
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words complaint, noise, number, complaints with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: