Write about the following topic: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
General
Add an article
The general
health
of individuals in some states is declining due to
overweight
. In my opinion, consumption of imbalanced meals and lack of physical exercise are the major causes. Add a missing verb
being overweight
Health
education on proper nutrition and discouraging people
on
fast Change preposition
from
food
consumption will enable to curb the issue.
To begin
with, due to
the busy schedule at work and during the studies, many individuals prefer to eat any food
they come across. They are not concerned on
whether it contains all the nutrients the Change preposition
about
body
needs or not. This
has led to consumption
of too much carbohydrates because they are easily affordable and easy to cook in various restaurants around the world. Since they are fast converted to energy in the Add an article
the consumption
body
, there will be urge
to take more and Correct article usage
an urge
this
will lead to addition
of more weight. Add an article
the addition
For example
, a study done by students in
the University of Florida on the impact of Change preposition
at
food
on peoples'
Change noun form
people's
health
showed that 92% of total
population Add an article
the total
were
obese and consumed rice Correct subject-verb agreement
was
atleast
twice a day. Correct your spelling
at least
Additionally
, due to
Correct article usage
the affordabilty
affordabilty
of personal cars, community members have opted to use them as Correct your spelling
affordability
means
of transport despite the kilometres covered. Correct article usage
a means
For instance
, a place of less than 5 kilometres can take approximately 30 minutes by foot but not many people
will buy such
idea
claiming that it is Correct article usage
an idea
time consuming
and one Add a hyphen
time-consuming
become
very tired. Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
This
has led to sharp
rise Add an article
a sharp
the sharp
of
the general weight because the energy in the Change preposition
in
body
is not utilized properly.
However
, in order to encourage people
to be physically fit, private organisations like NGO
and UNHCCR are conducting Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
health
sessions to
every member of the community regardless of Change preposition
for
the
age on the importance of taking Correct article usage
apply
balanced
diet. They are even conducting campaigns on Correct article usage
a balanced
the
television using graphics to describe how a Correct article usage
apply
health
meal should look like. By Replace the word
healthy
this
many individuals will not only improve their personal health
but also
be physically fit. Also
, members of the public are discouraged from eating processed food
and encouraged to prepare their own. This
is because artificial chemicals are added as preservatives and to increase shelf life which impacts the weight of the body
negatively. To illustrate this
, the WHO recently bunned sale of sausages from Kwetu company claiming they contained a certain chemical that added kilograms to those who consumed it.
In conclusion, the general well being
of an individual determines whether they are physically fit or not. Add a hyphen
well-being
People
should be taught and given guidance on various ways of adopting healthy lifestyles.Submitted by janenjeru6 on
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task response
While the essay addresses the task and discusses relevant causes and solutions, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement and more direct examples. Strengthening the linkage between ideas can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea. Additionally, using more transitional phrases can help in maintaining a smooth flow.
task response
The essay effectively outlines the issue of increasing weight and declining health, addressing both causes and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.