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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
#information #employment #rates #countries #summarise #idea #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
employment
Use synonyms
 among the people in six
countries
Use synonyms
, which are Australia, Switzerland,
Iceland
Use synonyms
, the UK, New Zealand and the USA over the period of ten years from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of employed
men
Use synonyms
 in 2005 was higher than
women
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of
Iceland
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in 2005 was the highest among the other
countries
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 in all
countries
Use synonyms
 in 1995 varied between the lowest of 52% in the UK and the highest of 70% in
Iceland
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 in all
countries
Use synonyms
 increased in 2005, ranging from nearly 70% in Australia to around 82% in
Iceland
Use synonyms
, making it the largest percentage of male
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 during the period compared to the other five
countries
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 in all
countries
Use synonyms
 saw an increase from 1995 to 2005
as well as
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
. The
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 in 1995 was
fewer
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 than
men
Use synonyms
 during the same year, ranging from around 27% in New Zealand to about 55% in Switzerland.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion rose ten years later, albeit not as much as the growth of employed males, between 39% in Australia to approximately 68% in Switzerland, making Swiss
women
Use synonyms
 consistently the highest percentage of
employment
Use synonyms
 in both years, compared to the remaining five nations.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, countries, iceland, men, women, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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