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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branches in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main ifeatures, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branches in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main ifeatures, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #bakery #sales #three #branches #summarise #ifeatures #comparisons
The table displays information about a bakery’s selling information contains
number
Add an article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
,
transaction
 value, number of eat-in and take-away
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
, and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular item of each three different branches in Vancouver Street in 2015.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that
Georgia
Correct article usage
the Georgia
show examples
 branch had the largest number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all means of
transaction
 mentioned.
Moreover
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that Drake had the least figure of transactions, it produced the second biggest
transaction
 value compared to Dusmuir’s. In terms of the most popular
bakery's
Change noun form
bakery
show examples
 branch, Georgia produced $10.69 and sold over 850 of its products in 2015 with Chicken Burger as the consumer’s
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 menu.
Moreover
, Drake made
slightly
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
 lower
transaction
 value than Georgia’s by around $ 1.50 with 390 transactions and somehow surpassed
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Drake’s profit at %5.61
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had more
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 of
transaction
 of 854
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
. These branches are known
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 popular
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 namely Chicken Wings and Chicken Pasta respectively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transaction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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