In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

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A large number of

people

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across the

world

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experience hunger, despite the advances made in the sector of agriculture,

as a result

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of persisting

poverty

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around the

world

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This

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ever-lasting obstacle is hoped to be diminished, by the

government

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’s implementation of a

food

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-producing empowerment program. Hunger is still happening across the

world

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, and one of its causes is

poverty

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. Many

people

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around the

world

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are so poor that they do not possess the resources to afford basic human necessities including

food

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, even if the amount of

food

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is abundant or agriculture in the country is advanced. These

people

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rely on

government

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and non-governmental organizations to provide them with healthy diets.

For example

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, in Rwanda, 70% of children experience malnutrition

due to

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living in

poverty

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and in a very poor living environment. In

this

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matter, the

government

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can play its role in taking care of its

people

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by enacting a

food

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-producing empowerment program. As mentioned earlier,

people

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living in

poverty

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do not have access to

food

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and they rely on external parties,

such

Linking Words

as the

government

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to provide them with an adequate diet.

However

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, giving free

food

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is not a sustainable solution,

instead

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, the

government

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can opt for empowering and equipping

people

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with the resources they need to produce their own

food

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, which will support them and their community in the long term.

For example

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, Indonesia has supported its

people

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living in

poverty

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in Sumatra Island with corn-producing crops and time-to-time farming education programs, so that the

people

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can engage in farming activities and produce their own

food

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. In conclusion,

although

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, agriculture has seen some advancements,

world

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hunger keeps happening

due to

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poverty

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, it is recommended that the

government

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tackle

this

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challenge by creating a

food

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-producing empowerment program to support its

people

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in the long run.

Submitted by annzhr on Sun Jun 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the essay provides a good introduction and conclusion, ensure that the introduction presents the main points briefly. Likewise, in the conclusion, reiterate the main discussion points to reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical flow of the essay, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, explaining the link between agriculture and poverty can provide greater depth to the discussion.

task achievement

While your response addresses the prompt well, providing more extensive examples and elaborating on key points can further strengthen your argument. Consider adding a paragraph discussing other factors contributing to hunger, such as political instability or climate change, to provide a more comprehensive view.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further by incorporating more data, statistics, or case studies. This will help in providing a clearer and more comprehensive discussion, making your arguments more compelling.

task achievement

The essay effectively introduces a central reason for the issue and proposes a solution that aligns well with the identified problem.

task achievement

Examples provided to illustrate key points are relevant and support the arguments made effectively, particularly the examples related to Rwanda and Indonesia.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

othere think secondary school students should study inter Dions both these views and gie your while others belleve that tary school studi valuable school time. Discuss both these side

With the rise of e books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some peolple believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsastisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 , while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school . WHat are the benefits of each systems?

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?