The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#debate #people #freedom #profession #approach #future

Nowadays, we cannot deny the fact that the right choice affects our whole life, especially the choice of our

career

. There are two categories of people who advocate that

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

population should have freedom in terms of selecting a

career

and take a pragmatic approach to future

jobs

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sights and conclude with my opinion.

Firstly

, all humans are unique and some individuals have creative and critical skills and talent which can help to produce novel ideas and innovative solutions in different directions. All these skills require

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

passion, without passion people cannot gain innovative technology, techniques, tools etc.

For example

, one of the genius scientists, Mary Curie discovered the radioactive element radium, which is nowadays used in medicine.

Secondly

, a pragmatic approach has

also

a crucial role in a

career

path

as well as

financial sustainability. More

parents’

Change noun form

parents

show examples

guide their offspring to choose

jobs

in terms of economic security. The occupations

such

as doctors, lawyers, engineers, and architects are in a trend

due to

demands, salary and meaning in the society. All these professions have status and more parents opt for these for their kids.

Nevertheless

, these

jobs

have their disadvantages.

For example

, to achieve these

jobs

students have to spend more money, time, effort, attention and others. The path of the above-mentioned sometimes demands several years to be an expert in their fields.

For instance

, to work as a doctor in my country, young people spend about 12 years studying to

then

practice in hospitals.

Overall

, our chosen

career

path depends on our personal skills, characters and relatives, but our work has to lead to fulfilment and success in our lives.

Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on Sun Jun 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on the points you present. This will provide a more comprehensive discussion of both views, enabling a better understanding for the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the other, and consider using a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each point. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

You provided relevant specific examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your discussion effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

empowers
fulfilling careers
personal satisfaction
job security
potential earnings
market demand
pragmatic choice
stability
secure future
intertwining
emerging market trends
innovation
ecosystem
guidance
skill development

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The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

You have recently moved into a new house. You want to tell your friend about your good news. Write to your friend. In the letter: • Describe the house. • Describe the neighbourhood. • Invite your friend to come and see the house.

More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?

In many countries smoking is now illegal in public places. Do you agree or disagree? #countries #places

It is well known that technological and scientific advancements have brought great changes in the range and quality of our food. Some people consider it an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.