The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, we cannot deny the fact that the right choice affects our whole life, especially the choice of our
career
. There are two categories of people who advocate that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population should have freedom in terms of selecting a
career
and take a pragmatic approach to future
jobs
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sights and conclude with my opinion.
Firstly
, all humans are unique and some individuals have creative and critical skills and talent which can help to produce novel ideas and innovative solutions in different directions. All these skills require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion, without passion people cannot gain innovative technology, techniques, tools etc.
For example
, one of the genius scientists, Mary Curie discovered the radioactive element radium, which is nowadays used in medicine.
Secondly
, a pragmatic approach has
also
a crucial role in a
career
path
as well as
financial sustainability. More
parents’
Change noun form
parents
show examples
guide their offspring to choose
jobs
in terms of economic security. The occupations
such
as doctors, lawyers, engineers, and architects are in a trend
due to
demands, salary and meaning in the society. All these professions have status and more parents opt for these for their kids.
Nevertheless
, these
jobs
have their disadvantages.
For example
, to achieve these
jobs
students have to spend more money, time, effort, attention and others. The path of the above-mentioned sometimes demands several years to be an expert in their fields.
For instance
, to work as a doctor in my country, young people spend about 12 years studying to
then
practice in hospitals.
Overall
, our chosen
career
path depends on our personal skills, characters and relatives, but our work has to lead to fulfilment and success in our lives.
Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the points you present. This will provide a more comprehensive discussion of both views, enabling a better understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the other, and consider using a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each point. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your discussion effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • empowers
  • fulfilling careers
  • personal satisfaction
  • job security
  • potential earnings
  • market demand
  • pragmatic choice
  • stability
  • secure future
  • intertwining
  • emerging market trends
  • innovation
  • ecosystem
  • guidance
  • skill development
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