IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your English speaking friend has asked you your help with college project he or she is doing about celebrating new year in different countries write a letter to your friend in your letter say how important new year is to people in your country describe how new year celebrated in your country explain what you like about new year celebration in your country

#english #friend #college #project #year #countries #people #country #celebration
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Dear Shailesh Hope
this
 letter finds you well with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good health today I am explaining how important it is for
Correct article usage
the new
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new
Correct your spelling
New Year
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year
 celebration in my country.
To begin
 with new
year
 is always celebrated with joy and happiness
along with
 relatives and friends gathering together
exchanging
Change the verb form
to exchange
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 their greetings and respects towards each other accompanied by lunch is very important with a snaked prepared specially for the new
year
 To explain what I like most is family Union as they are apart throughout the
year
tend
Correct word choice
and tend
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 to be present at their home for celebration
this
 promotes love and joy towards family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure by dividing your letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea.
Task Response
Mention specific traditions or activities that are unique to New Year celebrations in your country to provide a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that sentences are complete and consider using conjunctions to enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Response
The letter maintains a friendly and appropriate tone throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are elements of detailed description, such as mentioning family gatherings, which add depth to the response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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