Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
day and age, the lives
of people
become better and more convenient. Some individuals argue that today, we have a lot of choices. In my point of view, I totally agree with it. The following essay will show my opinion.
Firstly
, now people
's lives
are developing very much. So people
have a lot of choices related to food because there are appearances of many new restaurants or stalls which can serve them at all times. In addition
, they also
serve a lot of types of dishes so people
not only can enjoy native dishes but also
other countries's cuisine. Moreover
, individuals can enjoy both there or at home so they are flexible when they are too busy. For example
, in the morning, they can eat bread at home. Then
they are able to eat Korean food or Vietnamese food for lunch or dinner in the restaurants.
Secondly
, nowadays, people
make many decisions about devices which are helpful for their lives
. Technology is growing very fast and become popular. As citizens can see, a great deal of new devices have been invented such
as smartphones, TVs, computers, and washing machines. So it helps people
work faster and more efficiently. In addition
, it also
brings a wonderful time to relax after a stressful day. For instance
, when people
want to entertain themselves, they can watch videos or play games on a smartphone, TV iPad, or computer.
In conclusion, today, individuals can have many choices in their lives
because the living standards of citizens have improved very much and become better and more convenient. In my opinion, I totally agree with it.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and you have a good layout. However, try to refine your introduction by combining the thesis statement with the introduction instead of separating them completely. This will make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you stick to a single clear argument in each paragraph. Your paragraphs, especially the first one, can be more focused. For instance, in the first paragraph, you talk both about variety in food and options for eating at home – consider focusing on just one aspect to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt well, but there are places where you can offer more detailed justifications. For instance, you mention that technology makes work faster and more efficient – providing specific details or examples can make this argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of transitional phrases. Use varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs more seamlessly. This will help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
You offer a general response to the question and maintain a clear position throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reiterating your clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure. Each paragraph is dedicated to a main point which supports your overall argument.