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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada
#information #world #water #resources #bar #ultilization #egypt #saudi #arabia #canada
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 below represents the global
water
Use synonyms
 distribution and the histogram shows how
water
Use synonyms
 is used in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Canada.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
all
Add a hyphen
all-water
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows that most of the world is salt
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 the second
chart
Use synonyms
 shows that only a tiny fraction of all
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is on the surface. Moving on to the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, it is easily noticeable that Egypt and Saudi Arabia
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 most
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for agriculture,
while
Linking Words
 Canada uses most of its supply for industrial needs. Each pie
chart
Use synonyms
 represents the compositions of all
water
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 and fresh
water
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, with almost all of the world containing salt
water
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, leaving
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3% of fresh
water
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. Almost four-fifths of the global freshwater supply is frozen in the form of ice and glaciers, and only a hundredth is surface
water
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. Looking at the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, it could be noted Egypt and Saudi Arabia
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
 a significant amount of
water
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 agriculture, with the former using up to 80%,
while
Linking Words
 the latter uses about 75%.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the land of the Pharaoh, Canada uses 80% of its
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial needs.
However
Linking Words
, all 3 countries
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 less than 20% domestically.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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